Recent Review: Blonde

Blonde should have been a perfect film for today’s social climate. It should have encapsulated many of the feminist ideals that women strive for. It should have been the very film that showed us the hardships that Marilyn Monroe endured. Instead, what we get is a counteractive torture piece for such a beloved and sympathetic actress of the golden age of cinema. What we get is a film that portrays this likable soul in the cruelest of lights. Perhaps this is a more abrupt start to a review, but what else can be said other than painting the very picture that the film makers have unintentionally presented.

I have very little knowledge of Marilyn Monroe as a person, and have never seen a single film that she starred in, but I was totally obsessed with the concept of a biopic that tackled the sexism that she endured and the depression that came with it. Everything seemed to be lining up perfectly, with my only gripe being the casting of Ana de Armas as the titular bombshell. While de Armas is brilliant in everything I’ve seen her in, I was doubtful that she would be able to subdue her natural Cuban accent; the trailer did nothing to quell this worry. I was still excited nonetheless, but as the film premiered and reviews were starting to come in, I was shocked to see how rancid many of the opinions were. Briskly falling down into low, low ratings, I was cautious. I haven’t exactly set this review up to give a contrarian opinion, so don’t expect to see one of the few glowing reviews. With much hesitance, this is Andrew Dominik’s Blonde.

Based on a book that openly promotes itself as a fictionalized retelling of events surrounding Marilyn Munroe’s life, Blonde sees the famed actress (portrayed by Ana de Armas) throughout her life. Beginning on her childhood, she suffers under a mentally unstable mother who was left abandoned by a famous lover who kept their affair a secret. After an attempted murder, the young Norma Jeanne (Munroe’s real name) is put up for adoption. We see her career blossom on the back of her beauty, but her aspirations lie in acting.

We watch Norma endure the lustful eyes of men in power, subjecting herself to objectification and sexual favors for those in power. While her life as an actress does begin to flourish, her mental health slowly deteriorates. She does find some sort of strange love within a three-way relationship, even getting pregnant from the experience, but this doesn’t last as the fear of her baby inheriting her mother’s illness causes her to get an abortion. We watch Marilyn go through abusive relationships, endure roles that objectify her and suffer through drug addiction. During this time, her absent father sends her messages, hoping to reconnect with her. In this sordid retelling, Marilyn is put through complete hell in what can only be described as a sympathetic torture porn, if that can even exist.

I want to start by talking of how terribly the message of female empowerment is portrayed here. I have never read the original book of which the film is based, but Dominik’s intent with this film seems to veer to far in the opposite direction of what he’s trying to say.

In a film that is trying to lambaste those who objectify women, it beats Monroe down with unrelenting force. It’s one scene of horrible leering after another, watching her go through countless moments of pure depression. The scene of her getting abused by one of her spouses is disturbing, but not in the way the film wants us to feel. Up to that point, the movie has already subjected her to child abuse, casting couch sex, old men groping at her and practically being forced to abort her baby. While it is important to show the darker aspects of Monroe’s life, it is pushed to limits far too mean-spirited that it comes across as someone’s own fantasy of seeing Monroe stripped down to dehumanizing limits. This feels more exploitative than the abuse Monroe faced in her real life.

There are moments that feel well done. I did think the first act was rather promising, managing to feel disturbing and perfectly sets up the theme of the whole film. I did find the scenes of her being hounded by paparazzi to be nicely uncomfortable, and the scenes where she has to fain happiness are great. There are great moments here and there, and I especially liked the moments of Marilyn enjoying her adult life. these brief moments of happiness should have been more prominent, but we have to endure the constant abuse at the hands of the director.

The movie tries so hard to justify much of the uncomfortable abuse, shadowing itself as this feminist film. The attempts to make it feel like such a film are so laughably obvious that it borders on parody. We get lines that scream at you about how Monroe despises the way she’s seen, with literal dialogue that tells you outright that “this is bad, you should not do this.” This comes at the expense of ignoring Monroe’s sexual positivity, she was someone who was proud to be so sexually liberated. While we do get glimpses of this, like with her public three-way relationship, we also get moments of her being disgusted with the films she has done. The moment of her breaking down in tears as she watches herself in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” was so painfully forced that it had me laughing at how ridiculous the entire scenario was.

Something I have not seen much of within the reviews surrounding this film is just how insanely dumb a lot of this film can feel. I can mostly assume that it’s down to how violently angry everyone is with the treatment of Monroe. If you really stop to listen to the dialogue and study de Armas’ performance, you may find yourself shaking your head.

There’s a moment where she is outraged at the fact that her male co-star is being paid more than she is. While I agree entirely with the point that women should be paid more, it so obviously done to make a point, like someone screaming in your face. There’s another moment where a seedy movie producer is checking her out and commenting on her butt, extending the scene just for the sake of telling us how bad this behavior is. If it were more seamless, I could excuse much of this, but it’s so shoehorned in, as if Netflix was passing constant notes to the director to make sure that they please their audience. It ends up feeling insulting more than anything.

The infamous “Seven Year Itch” scene of her dress being blown by an updraft is one of the worst examples of overdoing the message. This scene goes on forever, cutting frantically between shots of Monroe’s expressions, crotch shots and moments of wooing reporters, but it lingers on this scene far too long that it comes across as exhausting. I couldn’t quite grasp if we were supposed to dislike this moment or support Marilyn’s sexual liberty. It was really well shot and composed, but the editing and length made it comical.

There’s this running theme of Marilyn calling her lovers “Daddy” due to the obvious father issues she has and why she goes for older men. They really hammer this point into your head, treating her like a child that is desperate to find a father figure. I would be okay with this if it weren’t for how braindead they portray her as. It’s a constant problem with the film, that need to show as a childish person just comes across as horribly mean.

Ana de Armas is a great actress, I’ve always loved her performances, but here, you get a sense that she’s struggling. While the accent is very distracting, it’s her over-exaggerated performance that creates this sense of air-headed insult. I mostly blame the direction, but the film seems to imply that Monroe was not capable of understanding her surroundings, nor did she understand the full extent of her exposure. The scene where she thinks that her father has come to see her makes her look idiotic and her silent murmuring is a poor attempt at making her more childish. That childish portrayal is what their going for, but instead, it portrays her as a typical bimbo that can’t fathom basic concepts.

There are moments of light within Marilyn’s portrayal here. It’s rather inconsistent, but whenever de Armas is simply emoting and using her facial expressions to do all the talking, she soars just as high as her other roles. The scene of her breaking down during her audition is perfect, or the moment after she has essentially been raped by a movie producer is the right level of disturbing. I may have bashed the dress scene, but de Armas absolutely kills it when it comes to her sudden drop in emotion. There is so much gold hidden beneath this pile of garbage, but these moments are overshadowed completely.

I want to talk, briefly, about this movie’s uncomfortable agenda. I’m not talking about the attempt at feminist values, but it’s rather veiled anti-abortion message. We get a prominent moment of Marilyn getting an abortion, and then suddenly, during the process, she begins yelling about how she should have a choice in the matter, running away and screaming about how she’s be forced to give up her baby. It’s shown like a horror flick. When she gets pregnant again, we get this bizarre moment of her fetus talking to her, blaming her for giving up the previous baby. There’s a moment later that further reinforces this anti-abortion idea/ Regardless of where you stand on the matter, this feels so incredibly manipulative. It’s just another terrible creative decision in a film riddled with countless problems.

I’ve remained rather negative throughout this review. There is an aspect of this film, however, that I think works very well, though it is not perfect. I am speaking of the technical aspects.

Artistically, there is a rather intriguing style to the film. I do admire the cinematography and editing a lot. Certain sequences, like the one where Marilyn looks in the mirror or the transition into a theater full of roaring audience members are so perfectly executed. I was also really attached to the nightmare-like approach to the perception of reality. I was making several comparisons to the anime, Perfect Blue, with how it blurs the line between reality and fantasy and this idea of false personas. I really enjoyed the dedication to recreating scenes from her movies, they conveyed the Marilyn most people knew and felt more accurate to the person that she was. I liked the choice of switching between aspect ratios and using color sparingly for the happier parts of her life. Stylistically, it’s remarkable, but it does have some major problems here as well.

The second half is where the technical aspects start to crumble. This hypnotic state can often be undercut by the terrible dialogue. With characters frequently speaking in hyperbole, it feels super comical and cringe-inducing. The cinematography and editing also managed to pull some real gut-busting laughs. There’s a scene where Marilyn’s husband angrily walks around the house trying to find her, with a fixed camera being attached to him. It’s often used in comedies to show characters being high, and the pacing was just so laughably chaotic. The moment is finished by him slapping a naked Marilyn hard across the face and I regrettably burst out laughing. It was all like a very dark comedy with no intent of being one. The editing can feel all over the place. There’s a moment of Marilyn joyously frolicking on the beach and it’s so horribly paced. There’s another scene of a clapping audience being sped up. I don’t think I should’ve laughed as much as I did.

That was Blonde. I really, really wanted to like this film. To have been hooked on a story about someone I knew very little about, only to have those expectations suddenly crushed was so heartbreaking. I’m usually someone who enjoys films that tackle such depressing topics, but this one just feels cruel. It so contrary to the message that the film makers and Ana de Armas were trying to promote. I felt a mixture of complete hatred for how this film alters reality in a way that completely exploits Monroe’s personality and admiration for the style of the film. It had the potential to be this beautiful and sympathetic piece that speaks to the oppressed women of the world, but it’s instead the very thing it’s trying to bash. There are better films like this out there. Watch Spencer instead.

Side note: I couldn’t go into detail about the blowjob scene, but the narration accompanying the close-up is so horribly funny that I felt really bad about myself. I wonder what Ana de Armas was actually “liquidating” during that scene.

Written review by Conor Johnson.