[This article was written in conjunction with a Freelance Journalism course I am currently doing. It centres around the struggles my mental health has endured from years of being bullied, and the escapism that became the medium of film.]
Depression is a harsh an unrelenting force. That rather detracting statement may discourage those with the desperation to better themselves, but within it lies a glimmer of hope.
I very much struggled with this ingrained belief that there simply wasn’t any hope for an introverted, horribly bullied kid. Since I can remember, anxiety and sadness have domineered my life. It first accelerated during my high school years: a time when emotions run high, and you’re lumped into specific groups. Some of us reapply ourselves to fit in with what is considered the popular group-though this ranges from experience to experience. My lack of social confidence led me away from such kids, a choice for the better, in the long run.
Like many shelled teenagers, this only made issues worse. Relentlessly harassed for simply not fitting in, shoved and verbally tormented for being the ‘quiet one.’ They say Kids will be kids, but at a certain point, accountability needs to be taken. I hadn’t the confidence to stand up to them, paranoid at my own shadow and even taking measures like walking out of school because I thought I could be jumped at any second. Five years of psychological abuse, having comments like “you’re a waste of space” and the odd jab at my personal problems with certain abandonment issues. Nothing was off-limits at my school, and it led to some skewed visions of society as a whole.
While I may have had a small group of friends to call my own, it didn’t do much in the way of curing any sadness I felt. I grew depressed and my anxiety worsened to the point of being debilitating. Spiralling in a tornado of continuous abuse, I needed something to keep me from losing my mind. A supportive family is certainly enough, but a teenager needs those outside influences. I could’ve gone down the destructive path of using drugs or adopting an early drinking habit. Good sense told me that media was the simpler answer.
Ever since I was a very young child, film has been a constant. Ironic as it can sound, the excuse to fall away into a fictional world, cut off from reality, kept me from losing my grip on reality. Movies were the go-to after a bad day. I poured over the special features of each film I watched, and started exploring newer avenues for film I may never have explored.
Once high school passed, there was a huge relief in the idea that I had escaped the torturous, daily abuse. This turned out very much to be true, with college-where I studied film more extensively-being a very eye-opening change. It appeared I was finally evolving into a confident young man with aspirations. But the thing about escapism is that it only supresses the depression.
College did a phenomenal job of hiding my lowest of feelings. So much so that not even I could notice it. My social life had declined. I turned down offers to socialise outside of education, though I still maintained friendships. When college came to an end and I opted not to study at university, those anxious and depressive feelings remerged. I was finally processing everything that had happened to me. I wasn’t handling it well; I’d repressed my emotions for so long, after all. Now I had this regret and lack of self-worth. My self-perception was one of complete vitriol, and I felt like a complete disappointment to my family.
I had sunk further and further into a pit of deep depression. My anxiety had accelerated to the point where I would walk out of work mid-shift because I was so overcome with emotion. This became a destructive cycle, and I refused to get help. But at no point did I ever choose to take any drug to keep myself sane, recreational or otherwise.
Film was still a safety net for me. While I wasn’t making much of an effort to continue my passion, it was still a medium I could use to keep me tethered. The problem was that it only worked for so long. My depression and anxiety became so bad that I started to neglect the very thing that gave me so much joy. I had this idea in my head that I was never going to improve, that I would live in this timid and self-loathing state for the rest of my life. Sometimes the thoughts would get very dark, and I would question whether it was worth maintaining this existence.
Even into my adult years, people were recognising me as the quiet one, sometimes confusing this for rudeness. I was highly aware of this, but I didn’t have the confidence to work on myself. Then one particular instance, one where I made the rash decision to hide away from society for a week, not wanting to go to work or talk to anyone, changed my life forever.
The repercussions of this week became a wakeup call. I was close to losing my job. My family were paranoid about my mental health. I just broke down. Years of hiding away from the responsibility of managing my mind and aspirations finally unloaded in a single minute. I began processing everything, begged for one last chance at work and finally told myself that change needed to happen.
I began going to group therapy sessions after this. I made continuous efforts to meet up with family and friends. But above all, I really analysed what was going on in my head. Coming to terms with the abuse I had suffered and how it affected my state of mind in my adult years lifted a burden I had kept for so long. People noticed the change in my personality, often making comments on it. I could finally look at myself and congratulate my little victories. Suddenly, a slow build of confidence emerged.
With this new outlook on life, I was ready to take the medium of film I loved so much and do something productive with it. As I watched film after film, giving myself a rule of one a day, I began to formulate ideas on how to better spread the word of these movies to people that might not have given a second glance.
I created a film blog back in 2019, with a huge focus on reviewing older and newer films. It’s changed a lot since then, with my writing continuing to improve and creating new categories to better inform people. And as I recount the steps that got me to that point, it’s clear that I never would’ve gotten there without those terrible experiences.
Sometimes we can struggle to make sense of our emotions. People might put you down for not abiding by the social stigma of your environment. I used to care very much about how people perceived me, and I was obsessed with getting to that finish line as quickly and as parallel to my friends as I could. But my state of mind for the last four years has now been to make the most of my time. To not worry about the future and to keep pursuing the passion I adore so much. The greatest thing I would want people to take away from this is that it does get better. But the only way that can happen is if you take charge and face that trauma head-on. Once you do that, your dreams start to feel a little more real.
This is not entirely film related. If you’ve looked at my blog and are expecting this to focus on some kind of analysis towards films of this particular year, then you might be put off by the fact that this is more of an honest look at my mental state in what I consider to be my most torturous year of my life so far. If you’re a tad skittish around the subject of mental health struggles, or don’t know me well enough to care, then you might want to wait till I do something film-specific next week, or look through my older reviews (shameless self-promotion.) I feel I am now at a point where I can speak openly about this, being something that evolved from a desire to write a book focusing on my past issues at the end of 2020. I could not have predicted what would happen in the following year. Strap in for some raw and honest revelations about one man’s struggle to keep himself tethered to his mortal coil.
I should probably preface those who don’t know me the kind of person I am. I’m somebody know for their quiet and awkward demeanor. I’ve always struggled with my anxiety issues, not the least of which were challenged terribly by being constantly bullied throughout high school. I went through a period of constant self-hatred, but managed to turn around my outlook completely after a monumental anxiety attack. I love movies, as is evident by this blog, and I adore nature. I do appreciate the simple things in life, but my overly dramatic attitude towards movies can contradict that perception. I also really like the Beatles and Muppets to an excessively annoying amount. With all that out of the way, get ready for some heavy information.
We all remember that terrifying, uncertain fear that was 2020. While I was certainly in an on-off state of worry about how the world would be with that dreaded virus making its rounds, my personal life was going, mostly, pretty well. I had made great strides in improving my long-standing anxiety issues in the year prior, and my introverted nature felt quite at home in a world that was living in isolation. Coming to work felt fun as it allowed me the one form of direct human contact, I could go home and enjoy my incessant film watching and the constant lockdowns didn’t stop me from continuing my blog. What I did not expect was what came about in the end of the year, as all that hard work of improving anxiety seemed like it was on a downwards spiral; a single piece pulled apart from an entire structure.
I won’t go into detail about what happened, specifically, as it would be going into more of mine and others’ personal lives, but a moment in late October caused me to have an unexpected mental breakdown. It was as if I had kept myself hidden from my emotions over a year and they finally bashed through that proverbial wall. I was in a complete state, making irrational decisions like trying to cut someone very close to me out of my life completely, and then festering in the guilt over that choice. I felt depressed. I didn’t feel like myself at all and this constant disappointment with myself for falling back into a state of mind I thought I’d long left behind just made me feel worse. A running thought would pop into my head that I never expected to happen: “just end it.”
While I’ve battled with depression in the past, suicide was never an option. I’ve always been strong enough to recognize the good things in my life and knew very much that suicide should never be an option. One of the great benefits of my mental turnaround in 2019 was becoming more open about my mental state, even to the point of making more closed-off people uncomfortable with that honesty. At this point in time, I told nobody about these extreme thoughts. I was scared. There was still that stronger part of me that was looking for an optimistic light, so I decided to let the thoughts pass.
November had been a struggle, but I was able to resolve the issues that I had talked about and my mental state was gradually improving, but then I was hit by Covid. Keep in mind, the stigma around Covid was very different in 2020, and I was still in the hot zone of mental health issues, this would only set it back substantially. Aside from my waning physical health, I had also felt an immense amount of guilt for going to work, unknowingly, with the illness, as well as being within a close vicinity of my grandparents only a day prior to finally getting tested. Work was in a state of people taking absences to get tested and I would become paranoid about the health of my grandparents. The guilt festered more and more, but reality sunk in when I had to spend Christmas on my own.
I was entering the new year with an immense feeling of sadness. My mental state was extremely fragile and I was finding myself with this immense sense of worry. The idea of simply sitting back and letting these feelings pass was not something I was mentally stable enough to do. I would worry constantly about whether I was going to recover, going each day with a sense of hopelessness. I didn’t know that it was my anxiety rearing its head again; I simply brushed it off as a deep depression. I made changes to my life in an effort to improve this: I added more to my rather limited diet, I started reading more and listening to music to keep myself calm (usually that of The Beatles and later seventies rock ballads), I even made sure to book some one-to-one therapy, but I was isolating myself from others because I couldn’t bare the thought of disappointing the people in my life who watched me go through that turnaround.
The entire start of the year saw me remaining idly quiet about my mental health issues as the stress took a toll on my physical health. I’m naturally very skinny, but I was losing even more weight. The thing about this was, I don’t think even I realized just how much of an impact this was having on me. I would go to work with constant thoughts of fear, worrying about every little thing, over-analyzing even the most basic day-to-day instances with a complete sense of dismay. I couldn’t distract my mind from anything without bringing on mild panic attacks and starting doing things like cutting out films for a while until I could recover. Bad memories from the past would return everywhere I went. I couldn’t stop associating locations with the bad parts of my history, remembering that miserable state of mind I was in when I left college in 2014 to 2018.
I was so disillusioned with the idea that I would get worse if I didn’t step back and let things pass that I was often batting back and forth each week. I would always worry about how each day would turn out that if I happened to have a particularly good week, I would take that as a sign that I had improved. One week, I was in such a good mood that I thought this was the end of it, and decided to ignore my upcoming therapy. I waited for it to pass so that I would no longer be eligible for it. I felt confident at the time, but as I sit back and reminisce, all I can remember is the terrible ignorance towards my greater issues. Things would take a drastic turn not long after this, however.
As a birthday gift for my sister, my mum had paid for a trip to the Harry Potter Studio tour, a place I’d been to two times prior. The last time I went was in 2017, and my mind was in quite a state of depression during this time-frame (this will be important, trust me.) When I met my mum in sister in Watford, my mum remarked that I looked like I’d lost a lot of weight, but I kept myself quiet on the matter and simply told her I was fine and that I just hadn’t eaten anything that day, the reality was setting in with how high I had my belt holstered up to my stomach. As we walked around the studio, I was overcome with those associated memories that I had battled with prior. I wasn’t enjoying the trip I wanted to, I was so overcome with memories of my mental state in 2017. I was on the verge of having a mental breakdown, but I said nothing to my mum or sister.
I left that day feeling defeated and mentally exhausted, but I was still in a state of denial. As I was trying to watch a film that night (Bullit), I was struggling terribly to focus on the film, questioning every little thought I had through the day. It all came to a massive close that night as I had a very tearful mental breakdown, begging the Well Being Centre to give me back my therapy, leaving dozens of emails with the threat of desperate measures. I rang mum later that night, telling her the entire truth of what I was going through, which opened me up to the rest of my family and friends. As terrible as I felt in myself, it was like a huge weight had been lifted. I could finally be open with everyone, and myself, and finally do something about this. I would like to say the story would end here, but we’re only in January. What follows may have you wondering why I did the things I did. Keep in mind, when you’re in such a state, it’s very difficult to think rationally, and it’s also very hard to explain exactly the feelings and thoughts I was experiencing during this never-ending year of psychological torture. I said this to both my mum and dad, so they know full-well what I was going through, so know that I am not this same person anymore. Get ready for some mind-manipulation, both mental and physical.
I was very lucky to be able to get the therapy right away. You have to wait six to nine months to even get this therapy, and it was very difficult in a Covid-laden world. The therapist was very understanding and I was relieved that I was still able to go through with it. Therapy is something I will always advocate for. It doesn’t make you weak to resort to this kind of help. I had to do these conversations over audio call (I hate doing video calls, you cannot get rid of my social anxiety that easily), but I did find myself going through self-realizations. I was able to piece together that I had moved past the depression phase and was now dealing with boatloads of anxiety.
Work became difficult, now that I knew what I was going through. I had this desire to control my emotional state whenever I felt the slightest bit of anxiety. Not telling my therapist, I was finding specific ways to stop myself from feeling worried. My coping mechanism was just to ignore my worries, not challenging them, but replacing them with trivial nonsense around things I enjoyed. What I ended up doing was creating this constant fear of actively trying to think of other things that have nothing to do with my mental health. This has had a long-term effect on me. I used to be able to bide my time at work by thinking about movies and games in a strangely sequential state of mind. Now, whenever I purposely try to distract myself with other thoughts, I can closely send myself into a panic attack. I can think of other things and distract myself by letting myself simply letting these thought pass, but I can no longer create scenarios on the spot without a strange sense of PTSD. It’s debilitating and these thoughts now come naturally to me, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss creating these specific thing in my head. I need things like this article here for my mind to be okay with this.
Negative and worrying thoughts became persistent, refusing to go away. It was like being bullied by myself. You think you know exactly how your mind works and how to get a solution a lot quicker, but when you’re that distressed, you lose all your grip on reality. Watching became impossible for me, not without the constant background thoughts. I became depressed over this; watching films was my core form of escapism, as well as something I’m deeply passionate about. Even the idea of losing that interest had me feeling like the world was about to end, I couldn’t see myself doing anything else in the future. I did try to numb the fear with games, but that became a chore in of itself. I even tried to fill days with visits to different places outside of my home town, visiting museums and zoos, but this was only short-lived and overshadowed by my constantly running mind.
The therapy wasn’t enough to change my emotions, however. Many at work would always recognize me as the quiet one, (which isn’t really new territory for me) but that I’m usually very nice. The constant strain on my mental health was changing me quite dramatically at this time. I was becoming more irate and would go off on co-workers. I would get myself into a frustrated mess over the smallest things. I was going through a huge identity crisis and was clawing for even the slightest bit of happiness. I tried asking somebody at work out, feeling like I had nothing to lose, and while that didn’t pan out, I did feel a temporary rush of pride for doing it. Even the younger, more confident Conor of 2019 didn’t have the courage to do that. As I said, however, this rush would only be temporary.
Doing day-to-day activities without thinking about that anxiety was impossible. Nothing I could do was making that anxiety go away. I tried to make social efforts by taking up any opportunity to meet with family, but it would just heighten the anxiety even more. I recall the three days that made up my birthday. I met with my dad and sisters on the actual day and had a minor panic attack that early morning. We met up for some food and I remember going to the bathroom to endure another panic attack right there. At the end of the day, as my dad was trying to get a picture of us all, I kept refusing, which seemed to annoy him, I started tearing up as I told him how I was feeling and took a walk as I waited for the next bus home trying to figure out what went wrong. I met my mum and my other siblings the next day for some pizza and went through the same anxiety, breaking down once again at the end of the day as the kids saw me in the most vulnerable state they ever had. The next day, I saw my grandparents, and had to walk away after getting unnecessarily agitated. I could tell me Nan was worried she had said something wrong, which made me feel terrible for even making her feel that way.
I tried a lot of things that my therapist suggested, one was to give an identity to this anxious part of me and try to rationalize with myself over specific fears. I gave it nickname “buddy” and began to really despise it. Two sides of me were battling for control: the budding optimist that I was from a year prior and the depressive personality that was “buddy.” It got so bad that I began to question my sanity. With all the anxious thoughts I had, it was causing me to talk about these issues more frequently. I switched over to keeping a diary of sorts, detailing the feelings I was going through, and you can really tell how much this was having on my more dramatic personality. Looking back at these entries, it reads like some sort of impassioned novella. “The road still has a ways to go” and “I must still remain vigilant” are certainly interesting ways of phrasing it, but I was very clearly heightened in emotion.
My therapist gave me the natural advice of trying to take up meditation and allowing myself the reality that is ‘things will improve in time, and not to rush it.’ I stuck to this initial mentality, meditating daily and letting the thoughts pass through. The problem with this was that my mind was not accepting this reality. I wanted desperately to believe that this was the right thing, doing everything that the therapist told me, but I was still left with this need to do more. I was now dealing with daily panic attacks. I would wake up feeling anxious and would go to bed with that same anxiety. I was struggling to sleep and I wasn’t enjoying my main forms of escapism. I felt like a husk, and I was questioning whether it was all worth enduring. This is when I did the most drastic thing I ever did…I was deperate.
Playing the waiting game was not working for this obsessive mind, and I was yearning to recover my older mindset. I hated that the negative, pessimistic thoughts wouldn’t stop: I felt like I was going crazy and I couldn’t stop breaking down in tears. I would disappear during my work to run to the toilet stalls to just cry and have full break downs, and then return quietly to my work like nothing happened. No one at work suspected this, or even noticed, but that’s what I wanted; the shame was making its way back in. Feeling like I was on my last legs, I decided to incorporate some physical means. I found that if I strained my head, I could stop the negative thoughts from coming in. I was so focused on manipulating the feeling of my head, that I could just block out the thoughts. I endured constant headaches and migraines, all so I could escape from this mental prison.
I managed to find a specific way of manipulating the wires in my head so that I could feel a relaxing stimulant-like feeling. It was like a cold sensation that would leave me feeling tired and almost zombie-like. I could still hear my natural self, so I didn’t question whether this was a bad thing to do. Whenever I would do this outrageous method, there was always a part of me that was terrified in what I was doing, screaming for me to stop. Again, it’s hard to convey the exact feeling of desperation I was going through, and I now can see how utterly stupid I was for thinking this was even remotely helpful, but I just wanted to be happy again. I would get frustrated when this strenuous method wouldn’t work and the panic attacks were still happening. I tried my best to watch movies and play games (a lot of time spent on Skyward Sword HD), but all of this was undercut by the pain I was going through. When I look back on the new movies I watched during this time, they’ll always associated with the torture I was putting myself through.
This ridiculous method wasn’t working. The reality that, at this point, I gone half a year with back-and-forth methods of trying to improve my mental health was setting in and I was beginning to see those suicidal thoughts resurfacing. One particular morning, I decided to simply let my thoughts pass through again. I struggled that entire morning, and when my break came about, I said to myself very bluntly: “I’m done. I’m going to kill myself.” There was no emotion behind it. I was exhausted and I had enough. I started cycling ideas in my head and how to go about telling family members and friends, thinking about how I could make amends with those I had fallen out with, but it was this lack of emotion which allowed me to make sense of it all: “just breathe.” I sat there, listening to words of Paul McCartney’s ‘Let it Be’ and started taking deep breathes. I knew I had to put my entire faith into this method, and it didn’t require any manipulation whatsoever.
This deep breathing method worked wonders for me. It hadn’t long before, but now that I was in a more hopeful state of mind, I could put my foolish physical methods behind me. I felt like myself again, only using these breathing exercises as a safety net when I would get especially stressed. It allowed me to enjoy movies and games again. I no longer struggled with it when talking to co-workers, seeing them as essential parts in my road to improvement, even if they didn’t realize it. For the first time in that terrible year, I felt as happy as I once did. I would like to say this is where the issues stopped, but the year is not yet finished, and I did not exaggerate when I said was a year I lost.
Amongst all of this mental improvement, things in my life were beginning to change. I don’t believe in God, but if there were one, that God was really putting my efforts to the test. Trying not to go too in-depth about this, I learnt of the passing of my grandmother (dad’s side.) I have a complicated history with this side of the family, so I having trouble processing exactly how I should feel about the entire thing. I was mentally preparing myself for the few days I would spend with my dad leading up to the funeral, though I did have brief panic attacks, especially when sitting in the church during the whole ordeal. I managed to get through it, but I felt more anxious afterwards. This breathing method became way more frequent, but at least I had co-workers that I treated as friends to keep me sedated during work…
Learning that the two co-workers I had gotten along with for four years were both leaving for other jobs left me feeling quite strange. I may be a huge introvert, but I do appreciate having that social aspect in my life. I was obviously quite melancholy about this, but I knew I could keep going on my own, it’s something I had done for practically my whole life, outside of the small group of friends I had. The reality dawned on me that had lost contact with many of my former friends over the years, and that loneliness was starting to set in. I struggle socially. It’s something that is inherently part of me and I don’t have the benefits of alcohol to improve that aspect, due to my persistence of not drinking. For the first time in my life, I truly knew what it meant to feel completely alone, but I didn’t notice how bad it was just yet.
Work became stressful after this, and I’m not talking about my social life here. With people leaving, I was pushed into being an unofficial leader of the department I worked. I despise being put into kind of leadership role, that comes with the anxiety, so I wasn’t handling the stress of it all. I became miserable in a very different way from earlier in the year, and I felt myself relying too much on the deep meditation. The breathing exercises would stop working, my mind couldn’t accept it anymore. I was left feeling existential, questioning my place on this earth. One particularly stressful day of work left me leaving in a state of emptiness. I took the next day off in an effort to relax, but I couldn’t shake that feeling. Almost immediately the next day, I felt different, like I was a completely different person. I felt similar to how I did at the beginning of the year. Nothing was working anymore. I couldn’t enjoy anything again. I was alone and exhausted. Those suicidal thoughts were louder than ever and the year wasn’t even over yet. I searched through my head for the answer, but nothing could come to me. I couldn’t stop crying as I had basically made my mind up. I sent what I wanted to be my final text to my mum, essentially a suicide note, and was ready to do the same for my dad later. I sat there for a good while before my mum called me, not really sure if I could really go through with it. I needed somebody to stop me from doing the worst possible thing I could do. Both my parents talked me down from it. With very little hope in my head, I decided to do something I said I would only do if I ever got to the worst possible state: taking antidepressants.
I’ve always been very dismissive of using medication for mental illnesses that are naturally controllable. I didn’t want to think I could be so desperate and truly believed I had it in me to manage on my own, but also said that about therapy in one point in time. I can’t say that confidence was boosted right away. I did confide in my family that I felt dehumanized by resorting to it, but I was going to keep with it anyway. I endured the next few weeks without trying to stop myself from feeling anxious, letting all the thoughts in and sticking to my forms of escapism. Change was obviously not immediate, but I was finding it easier to step back and let myself feel anxious. By the end of the year, I felt a lot better in myself. I wanted to go into the next year with some more optimism.
Where I currently am in my mental state right now might not be exactly where I was before all of this anguish, but I am happy. I’m still dealing with the aftershocks of all of my terrible efforts to control my mind, but the thoughts don’t last. I’m learning to take less responsibility over work and simply do what I’m expected to do. I’m joining film discussion groups in an effort to meet more people and I’ve managed to do more with this blog site than I was repeatedly doing in the past. This year has only started and I already feel like I’ve achieved more. Part of me wants to pretend like 2021 didn’t happen, and it’s best just to ignore it, but if I do that, then I’m never going to overcome these issues if they ever arise again. This year taught me that I still have some issues buried deep down, and it taught me of my limitations. I question a lot of the things I did, and probably made things worse, but I am trying to move forward. If you were even feeling a similar apprehension towards getting help for your own issues, or the reluctance to try medication, I implore you to try these things out. I don’t think I could reach the point I’m at without both. We’re fragile creatures, so we need to practice as much self-care as possible. It’s hard to fully encapsulate the experiences without droning on and on, but know this was over the course of an entire year. I wasn’t entirely unhappy, but all of this stress has defined that dreadful year for me.
Sorry to those that may have found this stuff very dark, but I’ll feel good if it manages to help people find some happiness themselves.
If you’re ever feeling suicidal, reach out to your loved ones, or seek out help: 0800 58 58 58
As if I hadn’t already spoken at an excessive amount about the genius that is The Beatles, I’m here to talk about the one thing surrounding the band I haven’t done before: their actual music. I’m a huge movie buff, but my musical knowledge and interest is very limited. I have previously covered the John Lennon, biopic, Nowhere Boy, I reviewed the animated acid trip that was Yellow Submarine, I gave tips and pointers on how the film, Yesterday could’ve been marginally improved and I obsessed over the recent Get Back documentary. This fascination with such an iconic band can be traced back to my childhood, surrounded by their music, my mum played mostly music from the classic era of rock n’ roll. The Beatles were so ingrained in pop culture that it was only natural that I would become over-exposed to their works. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I became a certified fan.
Doing what I like doing best, I’ve scoured every little morsel of information about the band I can and this short time, I can easily say there is no band I like more. Being one of the only millennials that can make that statement, I understand that what I’m about to talk about is not exactly going to grab the attention of my peers. That being said, I decided to take a crack at going through the largest album in the band’s catalog: the White Album (or simply ‘The Beatles’ as it’s actually called.) While not being my favorite album, it’s hard to deny the importance of such a giant piece of history. So here are my personal rankings of all thirty of this inconsistently structured venture from the most iconic band in history.
30. Revolution 9
Off to a completely unsurprising start to anyone who is familiar with the album. To even classify Revolution 9 as a song would be incorrect. An extremely experimental attempt from John Lennon, with the assistance of his wife Yoko and minimal collaboration from Harrison, sees a collage of random noises and the only “lyrics” being the repeating of the words, ‘number nine’ over and over for the first fifteen seconds. Eight minutes of pure insanity and unsettle, it’s become infamous amongst Beatles fans for how sorely it sticks out in their entire library.
This “song” does have its fans, admittedly, heralded for its artistic avant-garde nature, but I’m afraid I don’t fit into that group. Perhaps its my limited taste in music, but I tend to look for songs that have some sort of melody to them. I definitely find this “song” intriguing and unnerving, but it’s not exactly one that I ever go back to. Perhaps one of the things influencing my dismay towards this is my issues with John’s later ‘artsy’ approach to music in its early stages. I have mixed opinions on Lennon’s music overall, but I feel this has more to do with how little this sound collage did for me. Almost unfair to even count this, Revolution 9 fits undoubtedly at the bottom of my list.
29. Wild Honey Pie
If it isn’t Revolution 9, then Wild Honey Pie typically reaches the bottom of most people’s lists. More often than not, I see nothing but vitriol towards this obvious riff on the more pleasant “Honey Pie” that appears later in the album that Paul McCartney composed solely on his own. An insufferable minute of hellish instrumentation mixed with Paul repeating the words “honey pie” over and over again, it’s hardly considered a song.
When listening to the White Album, trying to marathon the entire thing can be considered something of a gamble. Thirty songs means that not every track is going to be even considered good. Wild Honey Pie is one of those songs that I easily skip past. It’s only a minute long and adds absolutely nothing to the overall atmosphere of the album. It’s oddly placed on the first disc, way before the original Honey Pie song and follows after a song I personally really enjoy. One can easily look at this song as harmless, but the terrible instrumentation, intentional or not, still makes for a jarring turn from the joyous Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.
28. Piggies
An underhanded jab at authoritarianism written by George Harrison, Piggies definitely feels unique in its portrayal of those in power, with childish instrumentation and nursery rhyme-like vocalization. It’s filled with pig grunts and other types of euphemisms that serve to further that political jabbing, but it feels far too obnoxious for me to place it any higher than in the bottom tier.
Perhaps there is some sort of child-like joy to Piggies that I just couldn’t find myself attracted to. The Beatles have made more childish songs before and after this album, but Piggies feels as though it’s pushing too far in that direction. The frequent pig squeals are nauseating to listen to, reinforcing that childish distaste I have. George Harrison, especially, is what I consider to be the most talented of the Fab Four, so I feel a strange sense of disappointment to put one of his songs so low. His other contributions, however are much higher.
27. Good Night
One of the rare instances of John trying to comfort his first son, Julien, Lennon wrote this song as a soothing lullaby for the young boy. With Ringo Starr taking up the lead vocals, as he has done for various happier, child-like songs, we get a nice, if entirely forgettable closer song for the entire album. Following right after the eight minute sanity test that is Revolution 9, Good Night is your reward. Beloved by a small margin of fans, my placement shouldn’t offend too many.
Good Night certainly isn’t awful, but, as mentioned before, it’s very forgettable. The song is pushed to the wayside, with most listeners inadvertently skipping over it due to how closely placed it is to Revolution 9. I often forget it’s there myself, but that’s not to say this is the only reason I don’t care much for it. While the intention behind the song is certainly heartfelt, the melody is far too dull and monotone. It’s slightly elevated due to Ringo’s slow, comforting voice, but that doesn’t distract from the lack of impact. As a closer for the album, it’s fine, but on its own, it’s one that I could easily throw away. A song that is forgettable can be far more insulting than one that is terrible.
26. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill
John recalls basing this jaunty little tune about a hunter going on his daily adventures around a situation he witnessed while in India. Supposedly, an American resident of their meditation retreat shot a tiger to death after it tried to maul the elephants that group were riding on. Lennon saw this as hypocritical of the peaceful ways the retreat promoted and wrote this mocking song in response. Yoko Ono provides her first contribution to one of John’s songs, with additional backing vocals and a comedic, child-like voice at one point. It’s a goofy, satirical story-led song, but it obviously didn’t quite find its way into my tastes.
While I appreciate the tongue-in-cheek nature of the song, mixed with the scathing lyrics, I just can’t find myself enjoying it. It just comes across as rather dull; one that I too often skip past upon revisiting the album. The repeated chorus of “hey, Bungalow Bill” feels quite obnoxious and I could never quite gel with the high-pitched vocals from both John and Yoko. It’s not all terrible, and I’ve even found myself humming this tune from time to time. The only thing elevating it from previous songs is that very fact. The comical tone of the song definitely helps, but I can’t think of much else that would save this song for me.
25. Sexy Sadie
Yet another John Lennon song makes it into the lower pantheon of the album. Another sarcastic recounting of a specific event in India, Sexy Sadie is based around the Maharishi’s repeated sexual advances towards Mia Farrow. A slow and monotonous song, it’s certainly one that many fans would consider to be one of the higher tier entries on the album. It’s slow melodic tune hides the severity of the situation that inspired it, being something that screams “John Lennon,” but I with all that said, I have to be on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Sexy Sadie is another song that I can best summarize as “dull.” John certainly excels at the slower and gentler songs, but this one feels rather monotonous. Much like Bungalow Bill, I do appreciate the sly jabbing that runs throughout, but to look at it from a melodic perspective, it failed to connect with me. I obviously don’t hate the song, it’s higher than the others for a reason, but it does come across as rather forgettable, being one I often skip. (John just isn’t catching a break here.)
24. Don’t Pass Me By
The first song Ringo, himself, wrote for the band, Don’t Pass Me By was written by Starr way back in ’62. A loving tribute to Ringo’s passion for Country music, it’s a song that invokes that of the classic era of Country-Rock. A song that almost feels prophetic to Ringo’s later solo work, it’s a song that just screams Ringo Starr; jaunty and childish with the sense that Ringo was thrilled to finally have a song all to his own. So why have I put it this low?
Something that becomes apparent with the White Album is how many “filler” songs make up the crux of the album’s skeleton. The first album where it became apparent that the band was starting to drift apart, it feels as though they’re throwing whatever they can to fill up this monster-sized record. Don’t Pass Me By almost feels like the definition of this “filler” idea. Rather repetitive and lacking in from a catchy beat, in the grand scheme of Ringo songs, it’s simply bland. The main saving grace comes from the cheery instrumental segment that happens midway through. It’s not a terrible song, evident by how I placed it above more loved songs like Sexy Sadie, but it does feel like THE song that would highlight Ringo’s status as the “weakest member.” (I love Octopus’ Garden, as well as Ringo himself. I will defend him with peace and love right to my grave.)
23. Yer Blues
I promise there are more John songs further up the list. John has written many songs describing his mental state or about the specific situations that were causing him strife. “Help!” is easily the most infamous example of this, being a literal cry for help, but none have felt more on the nose or as invasive as Yer Blues. This song reflected the deep sense of depression John was experiencing during his time in India. With lyrics like “Yes, I’m lonely” and “Want to die,” there is no subtlety in John’s overall message. An intense song that feels like a precursor Heavy Metal (a suitable companion to Paul’s “Helter Skelter”) this song goes in hard in every aspect of the word.
For a lot of fans, Yer Blues is one of the main highlights of the album. I certainly like how raw and unfiltered Lennon is throughout the song, but that I’ve put it as low as it is comes from my mixed feelings about rock this heavy. The instrumentation is impressive and can illicit some truly deep emotions, but John’s screeching doesn’t do much for me. I also tend to lean more towards either the upbeat or slow, melancholy songs. This is definitely more a case of the specific style lacking in resonance for me, but I can at least acknowledge the impressiveness that comes from John being so “in-your-face” about how he feels.
22. Honey Pie
Paul’s love letter to the Vaudevillian style music of the golden age can be best described as one of his “granniest” songs ever written. One of four songs that hearken to his love of charming sensibility, it tells a story of a famous actress whose previous lover yearns to reunite with her. A memorable, if entirely corny, opening hears Paul announcing the success of said actress through the speakers of an old-timey radio. charming, if overly sappy song that has left many Beatles fans in a state of complete dismissal. Much like it’s “wild” riff, this seems to be entirely composed by Paul himself.
Honey Pie is always a difficult one for me to nail down. Paul is often heavily criticized for his schmaltzy love ballads and Honey Pie seems to be one of his most reviled. I found myself batting back and forth where I’d put this, especially in relation to the three similar songs that make up the album, but upon repeated listening, this song really got on my nerves. I enjoy Paul’s “granny” songs. They often provide charming little breaks from the deeper more introspective songs, but Honey Pie is far too corny for my liking. Mild indifference soon turned to flat-out cringing. It isn’t as low as the other songs previously mentioned due to it largely feeling harmless. I don’t mind listening to it when it crosses my path, but it’s not one that I go out of my way to listen to. Fun, if entirely corny.
21. Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?
While the Beatles were travelling through India on the roads, a single moment in time saw Paul witnessing two monkeys going at it in the middle of one. Paul found humor in the contrast of raw animal instinct with the peaceful style of the Maharishi and decided to write this aptly named song from this. With a little help from Ringo, Paul managed to create another comical song to go along some of the previously mentioned additions. Paul delivers some grizzly vocals accompanied by Starr’s simple drum beats and fast-paced clapping to create one of the most blunt songs the band has composed.
This appears another song where I find myself disconnected from the fanbase. Many would put this song much further down the list, but I find myself in the higher places of the lower tier. I don’t love this song; it feels a little too basic and feels awkwardly placed on the album, not really fitting anywhere specific. The lack of the other two Beatles also makes the song stand out, as it could’ve used a backing guitar. All that said, it is a funny song. The origin alone makes for a humorous story and the passion that Paul puts into his vocal performance only strengthens the overall tune. It’s also rare that the Beatles were ever this adult with the subject matter. The title is not some sort of euphemism, it’s exactly what it says. I would put this higher, but the songs going forward are just that much better. It’s not bad, it’s just okay.
20. Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
John wrote this song in reference to the various saying the Maharishi, with the title alone being a nod to his constant saying of “everybody’s got something to hide.” Clearly gaining the most cynicism from the trip to India, John writes yet another scathing song, while also lovingly paying tribute to the man’s personality. It’s a fast-paced song with a continuous beat that feels fun and energetic, ironic considering it’s inspiration of peace-loving guru. With George providing much of the heavier instrumentation, including that amazing guitar solo, and backing vocals, “My Monkey” is loudly memorable.
For the longest time, I was pretty dead-set in putting this much further down on the list. I initially felt as though the song sounded too loud and obnoxious, with the chorus lacking in some sort of comfortable flourish. Aside from my criticism of the chorus, my opinion shifted quite substantially for this list. I love the intensity of the song, it’s so in your face and contrasts the peacefulness of the muse for the song. The instrumentation is the best thing about it, with that guitar riff being the nice bow that ties it all together. I do feel as though the song is rather lacking in its lyrics, being nothing more than quotes, and that chorus I mentioned before is in need of a serious flourish to maintain that intensity, but it’s otherwise a fun and entertaining entry from John.
19. I Will
A rather standard love melody from Paul, I Will isn’t particularly noteworthy other than it was one of the many songs that Paul wrote in India. Another sappy song from Paul, he mostly handles it on his own, with some melodic backing instruments and a consistently somber tone. Often overlooked by many fans, this one could easily be brushed off as just another silly love song written by Paul.
I really struggled to find a place to put I Will on the list. It is by no means a bad song, but it does feel very forgettable. It’s a largely inoffensive song, something that Paul could excel at, but it lacks the ability to stand out from the similar songs that Paul himself composed on the album. I do enjoy the soothing melody and Paul’s softer voice in this one. The acoustic guitar is pleasant to listen to and the additional beats add a nice rhythm to the overall song. It’s just not all that special. Charming, pleasant to listen to, just not all that memorable.
18. Savoy Truffle
George Harrison was gaining the most confidence in himself than he had ever felt around this time and wanted to be known for his overall abilities, rather than being known simply for his transcendental, Eastern influences. Collaborating much with Eric Clapton, George decided to write a song with no meaning whatsoever, gearing Savoy Truffle towards Clapton’s love of sweet foods. Savoy Truffle is quite literally about a savoy truffle. The other foods listed like “creme tangerine” and “coconut fudge” are exactly that: sweets listed on a box of others. Clapton provides a backing guitar to this loving tribute to all those with a sweet tooth. This shows just how amazing the band, or specifically George, could be: turning a meaningless joke song into something genuinely great.
I have a lot of love for George’s compositions. My favorite song from the band is “Here Comes the Sun” and I’ve continued to love almost every piece he’s made. I already mentioned my disliking of Piggies, but that was several songs ago. Savoy Truffle, as unpopular as it appears to be, is one of those examples of how ingenious I find George to be. It’s entirely pointless and just acts as a comical observation by George, and yet it’s incredibly catchy with some phenomenal instrumentation from both Harrison and Clapton. The reason I haven’t placed it any higher is for two reasons: the song is particularly stand-out and it’s buried down below by other greater songs that litter the album. Some songs you’ll see in the list might have more criticisms, but the positives elevate them far above those gripes. Savoy Truffle is a good song, but it’s lacking in the punch that Harrison usually delivers with his smoother compositions or his Indian-influenced pieces.
17. Birthday
A song that was entirely improvised on the spot by both Paul and John. With that apparent laziness, it comes as no surprise that the song’s meaning is about as obvious as you can expect. This upbeat and celebratory ballad is here to make you feel ecstatic over you turning another year older. Loud and boisterous, it isn’t exactly the most popular song among fans. It was intended, by Paul, to be another slow and charming song, but John shifted it into what we have now.
Dipping my toes into the pool of controversy once again, I’ve put a mostly disliked song quite a bit higher than most people would. While I agree that the song certainly FEELS made up on the spot, that doesn’t distract from how ferociously catchy it is. I have criticized other songs on the album for being too in-your-face, but Birthday just feels consistently exciting that I can’t help but put it here. Regardless, I still placed it quite a bit further down than most songs, mainly due to how much of a throwaway it feels. It’s quite literally that. (I’d rather have this sung at me on my birthday than the typical song. Just people screaming at me for two minutes.)
16. I’m So Tired
One of the many songs John wrote about Yoko Ono, I’m So Tired comes from a genuine place. Just before a trip to India, John and met Yoko and began a relationship with her…while still being married to Cynthia. Suffering deeply from insomnia, the letters that Yoko wrote to him were the reason he was able to keep going. In a very similar vein to Yer Blues, this song provides us with an open window into John’s mind and his overall mental state. A slow and melancholy song that occasionally bursts into an explosive shout from Lennon, this one is everything I could’ve wanted from previously mentioned Yer Blues; subtler and slower.
Of the many songs John littered with references to Yoko, I’m So Tired may be my favorite. While it’s certainly exhausting hearing John prattle on and on about Yoko, it’s hard to deny his passion for the artist. Anyone who has suffered with actual insomnia can understand the literal and mental pain that John is going through, but the message is also layered with allegory, also referencing that general feeling of exhaustion that comes from dealing with the struggles of day-to-day life. The instrumentation is parallel to John’s emotions all the way through. It’s only this low on the list because it’s rarely one that I revisit. It work’s perfectly as a one-and-done song and he has, in my opinion, a much better melancholic song later down the list. (Good Night works as a great companion piece to this song.)
15. Martha My Dear
Another sole McCartney contribution, Martha My Dear was a song, oddly enough, written about Paul’s beloved dog. Paul didn’t reveal this til much later and the more you listen to the lyrics, it becomes very obvious. Paul flexes his granny-style song writing yet again with a jaunty little tune that can easily be applied to actual, human love. Technically, Paul is only Beatle that performed on the song, but a full orchestra was bought on to handle the percussion. Despite it’s happy-go-lucky nature, there’s a certain gravity that comes from the prominent brass instruments.
One can easily brush this song off as another one of Paul’s overly-sappy love songs, but as far as that overt sappiness goes, it’s one of the most pleasant ones. Whenever Paul decides to completely helm the ship on his own, it’s always a pleasant experience. While maybe lacking the deep emotional soul of something like Yesterday, Martha My Dear is a loving song that speaks to the idea of endless devotion. Many of the lyrics are a little undermined by the fact that this was inspired by Paul’s dog, but the words are strong no matter the target. That gorgeous climb in the instrumentation from whimsical to celebratory trumpets is simply wonderful. The only reason that I haven’t placed it any higher is due to how it sometimes dips too far into over-sentimentality and it doesn’t quite compare to a later song on this list.
14. Cry Baby Cry
Another slow, melodic song from John, supposedly pulling the title from an advertisement he saw. The song tells a story of a royal family preparing for an arrival. Though never fully elaborated on, the song’s connotative message is one of reassurance and that everything will be okay. Rarely ever climbing out of its somber tone, it’s a rather consistent song with Lennon’s soft voice narrating this nursery rhyme-like melody alongside some fantastic instrumentation.
Cry Baby Cry was possibly the hardest song for me to place. I’ve always liked this song, really taken by that slower pace that John had perfected, but I’ve always brushed it off as more of a filler song. With how little is known about the origins of it, and by how lazily John came up with the title, it almost feels like this was the purpose. If it is to be considered “filler,” then it’s easily one of my favorites. It’s almost on the verge of sounding like a McCartney composition with how nursery rhyme-esque it is. A hard song for me to criticize or even have much of an opinion on, it’s just solid.
13. Long, Long, Long
Stepping away from his sitar-led songs that decorated the last few albums for the first time in a while, George returned to his roots with this slow, emotional song that came to him while meditating in India. Fitting to Harrison’s entire history in the band, he was left alone much of time while there, leaving him feeling a sense of disconnect. Playing in to his religious beliefs, Harrison wrote this song as a message to God. With a beautiful, progressive guitar being accompanied by subtle backing instruments, this one of George’s most honest, pre-solo, song he’s ever composed.
Though I’ll often tout Paul as my favorite member of the band, which will become apparent going forward, I’ve always acknowledged George as an underrated genius. Long, Long, Long was a song I wrestled with for quite some time. Initially, I felt very indifferent towards it, largely skipping over it upon repeated listening of the album, but as time has gone on, and I’ve grown to appreciate George more and more, I can’t help but love the song. George’s gentle voice does a lot to encompass that feeling of sadness and is only strengthened by that mystical guitar. The occasional moments of drums bursting out, but never too loud, add a lot to that idea of desperation. Beautiful and serene, the only reason it’s not any higher is due to how much I enjoy the rest of the album. In the upper-echelon of George songs, it’s one of his best.
12. Glass Onion
Frustrated with the hardcore fanatics looking too much into the lyrics of every song the band has composed, John wrote Glass Onion as a dig at those very fans. A nonsensical song that only serves to reference a handful of the previous songs: Strawberry Fields Forever, I Am the Walrus, Lady Madonna, The Fool on the Hill and Fixing a Hole. It’s slow and almost unsettling tone is like John taunting everyone, as if to encourage the idea of over-analyzing, only to laugh directly in their face. The titular glass onion is the embodiment of John’s intentions: to be able to look through the layers and find nothing. John’s vocals are heavy and the drums and violins have a haunting feel that adds to that atmosphere of unsettle.
Glass Onion felt like a difficult one to place. There are deeper and more intrinsic songs that John alone wrote for the album that I’ve pushed further down the list, and I think the reason for this is just how perfect the satire is. John was a very critical person, often having a careless attitude to his music. I mean that in a completely admirable sense. Glass Onion works both in a comedic, entertaining way as well as a nice reference song that unintentionally celebrates the newer direction the band went in after 1966. The references are well-integrated and have a more cynical tone to them. The line “here’s another clue for you all,” is one of the most direct interactions I’ve heard a musician make to their fans. It’s a great blend of fun cynicism and that Beatles magic that worked so perfectly. (The line is not a reference to Paul being dead.)
11. Mother Nature’s Son
Yet another song that was inspired by their time in India, Paul wrote this song in direct reference to the Maharishi. Naturally, Mother Nature’s Son is possibly the most direct of all this titles. Light on lyrics, it’s a calming acoustic song that encapsulates Paul’s views of the flower-riddled guru. Even aside from the direct references to the Maharishi, one could simply look at this as a love ballad to all things natural. With mesmerizing descriptions of flowery fields and mountain streams, it acts as a window into the things that Paul observed. Coupled with the occasional burst of drums, it’s one of Paul’s most sincere songs across the album.
Never have I felt more conflicted when making this list than the mental struggle that was trying to pick a number ten. Mother Nature’s Son is one that I desperately wanted to make it in that top ten, but the choices I had were just too good that they barely shoved it to the number eleven spot. It’s a gorgeous song that makes great use of Paul’s softer singing voice. With my own love of nature fighting for that attention, Paul’s encapsulation of the natural world is something that spoke to me. It’s just a perfect description of how I look at nature. While it may have been directly inspired by the Maharishi, the man exuded the embodiment of nature. A fantastic, calming song that’s perfect for walks through a sunny forest, I’ll forever be kicking myself for not putting it higher.
10. Helter Skelter
No, it’s not my number one. You’d think it’d be even higher than this. Inspired by an interview with Pete Townshend of The Who fame, Paul was immediately envious of the fact that he was promoting what he considered to be the most intense song ever written. Feeling challenged, Paul came up with this legendary song. Frequently sited as being the first Heavy Metal song ever composed, Helter Skelter is a ferocious song that retools Paul’s typical love ballad into an unbridled and impassioned rock number that uses a fairground slide as an analogy for the whirlwind that is romance. With the most intense vocal, guitar chords and drumming that the band has ever produced, it’s easy to see why this song is so beloved by Rock fans in general.
I admit that Helter Skelter was not a song I was initially favorable towards. I’ve always admired how monumental this song is for essentially crafting an entire sub-genre, but it’s this sub-genre that I’ve struggled to get into. I like Rock music on a very basic level, or as slow melodic tunes, so Helter Skelter took some time to grow on me. The fact that it made my top ten should be indicative of how much I love the song. The most intense the band has ever been, this song is so unapologetically loud and disruptive. Paul flexes his vast range of vocals by absolutely tearing his vocal chords up. To see him take the typical love songs that he’s known for in go in the complete opposite direction with it’s execution is endlessly fun. The biggest highlight comes from the infamous drumming that Ringo is pouring his lateral blood, sweat and tears into. That iconic scream of “I’ve got blister on my fingers” is like a war cry that encapsulates the insanity of the song. It may not fit my specific tastes, but it fully deserves it’s spot on my list.
9. Back in the U.S.S.R.
Paul combined two major song to make this comedic take on the typical American celebratory songs, Chuck Berry’s “Back in the U.S.A.” and the Beach Boys’ “California Girls.” Paul begins this entire album with this strange but incredibly fun song that sees him yearning to return to the prosperous U.S.S.R. With satirical nods to the overly patriotic tunes of the time, it employs lyrics that could be seen as communist propaganda to the unsuspecting listener. With a Beach Boys themed tone that runs throughout and a fast-paced energy that’s easy for anyone to enjoy, it’s an easy pick for the top ten. It begins with a plane landing and ends brilliant with it taking off into Dear Prudence in one of the smoothest transitions between songs that hearken back to the Sgt. Pepper transition.
The Beatles’ albums always seem to follow a trend in which the first song on the album is always a great one, and Back in the U.S.S.R. is no different. As it’s the first, I’ve heard this one too many times to count. It’s two biggest inspirations were initially lost on me, mainly due to my lack of interest in the Beach Boys and my lack knowledge of Chuck Berry, but learning more about the song allowed me to go out and compare. The Beach Boys influence is peppered all over this song, like an alternate universe take where the bands ended up switching places. The constant energy that runs throughout the song is infectious with that wonderful build-up in the very beginning that feels like it’s preparing you for this monster of an album. Paul’s shaky vocals create a sense of excitement and only get more intense as it goes on. Explosive and fun, it’s something that’s never left me head.
8. Rocky Raccoon
Everything that “Bungalow Bill” should’ve been, Rocky Raccoon is another song that tells a story. Written by Paul as a tribute to the classic Westerns of the Golden Age of cinema, it tells of a love triangle between two cowboys, Rocky and Dan, who love a woman named Lil. Dipping into the Country genre, Paul and Ringo collaborated to make a genuinely entertaining and suspenseful story, full of bustling piano pieces and Ringo imitating the sounds of gunshots with his drums, there’s a childish joy that comes from this cowboy love letter. Paul jumps between spoken narration to joyous singing to Country-infused scatting. Just a wonderfully corny song.
Some may find this placement to be far too high compared to some of the songs I’ve already talked about. While I can fully acknowledge to Rocky Raccoon is not even close to being as fascinating as some of the more beloved songs I put lower on the list, there’s just something I find so ridiculously fun about this that it has me rushing back frequently. It stands out on the album, feeling less like a song and more a story, but that isn’t to take away from the genuinely fantastic rhythm. The way the song builds on each moment until it turns into a saloon jig with some amazing piano work is truly brilliant. Paul’s knack for vocal range and impressions is pushed far here as well, making for a rather wholesome experience. (The name is no coincidence, Marvel’s Rocket Raccoon was heavily inspired by this song.)
7. Dear Prudence
During the retreat to India, The Beatles were accompanied by the Farrow sisters. I mentioned Mia being the inspiration for Sexy Sadie, but far more influential to one of their songs was her younger sister, Prudence. The young Farrow became obsessed with the teachings of the Maharishi, being stuck in deep state of meditation for hours on end. Her gurus, concerned about the frequency of her meditation convinced John and George to come up with a song that would convince her to come out. Dear Prudence is the result of this. Mentioning her directly while also creating several analogies around her, this song can be applied to anyone who has become disillusioned with the world. To those who prefer to withdraw into themselves, Dear Prudence begs you come out and play.
For a lot of people, this would probably reach the number one spot, or at least in the top three. I do adore this song, it’s gorgeous in it’s vocals as well as with its soothing instrumentation. As it followed the much louder Back in the U.S.S.R., it acts as something of a come down. I love how gentle it starts, only to turning into something more celebratory. I also found a lot of personal resonance with it, being someone who used to shut himself away from people, it took me a while to venture outside of my comfort zone. Having someone there that knows how to navigate your mind so that they can pull you out of a stupor is something that is often overlooked. This song acts as that warm friend who knows exactly how to bring you out. It’s simply beautiful.
6. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
John Lennon once, quite infamously, described this song as being “more of Paul’s granny shit,” hence my repeated use of the phrase. Reportedly despised by both John and George, this song gained a reputation for being the worst song in the band’s entire history, as well as one of the most hated songs in general (according to Wikipedia.) As time has moved on, it seems that the song has grown a massive fanbase, with countless people putting it high on their own lists, and I’m here to be one of those people. Ob-la-di, ob-la-da may be a granny song, but it’s easily Paul’s best in this surprisingly vast sub-category. Inspired by a phrase he heard a fellow visitor in India use on repeat, Paul found the idea of “life goes on” to be a great way to look at life. Heavily inspired by various Ska artists, Paul created this song with heavy Jamaican vibes. A cheery piano-led song that starts with an insane piece a the beginning from an acid-stoned John makes for an infamous, yet polarizing, song.
I love this song. Is it overly cheesy? Yes. Does it sound like another filler song that pads out the album? Slightly. But does it also make for a great, catchy song that’s perfect for social events? Absolutely. It’s hard to find any kind of malice towards a song with such good intent. It’s a song that so perfect to Paul’s mantra in life, with the idea of carelessly going about your day, free of worry. It isn’t substantial and certainly doesn’t compare to the greatest songs in Paul’s history, but it’s just so fun and energetic. Too many times have I hummed this song while working pr doing some menial task. It’s a background song in all the best possible ways.
5. Happiness is a Warm Gun
A song that is so heavily layered in euphemism that most probably wouldn’t have noticed they fooled into enjoying a song about Yoko Ono. Another desperate song for Yoko’s affection, Happiness is a Warm Gun was, at first, inspired by a NRA magazine that road manager, Mal Evans was reading. Finding humor in the idea of a magazine celebrating guns, John wrote another satirical jab at a social norm. He also decided to use this gun-crazed nuts as a basis for the way he viewed Yoko. With a phrase like “when I feel my finger on your trigger” it becomes obvious just how bathed in double meaning this entire song is. Add all this to the darker implications of the title and you get a song that’s layered in all kinds of connotation. And if all that wasn’t enough, the instrumentation is brilliantly executed with some heavy guitar and drum playing that contrasts the slow start. John’s vocals go from soft into a progressive rawness.
I think most would put this song at the top. I admire this song a lo with how much thought went into crafted what easily could’ve been another meaningless satire song, but John’s passion is absorbing. Whatever you may think of Yoko, her mere existence allowed John to make some truly phenomenal music. The entire song is also nicely segmented by different characters that make up this analogy. Even aside from all this, the song is purely masterful in it’s execution. The instrumentation, especially the drums, are the core that elevates this song into into something masterful. While I do admire this song, it just barely made the top five because of how much I love the next four. (This song isn’t about heroin. Stop telling these lies!)
4. Revolution 1
Something that the Beatles object to doing back in the day was placing singles onto albums. Paul felt it was like they were ripping off the fans that bought the separate vinyls, but with the song Revolution, the band felt as though this song was important enough to make it onto the White Album, but in a different tone. The original song was a hard rock song about standing against those who campaigned for a war, but not wanting to fight these people with violence and instead using peace; a precursor to what would shortly follow. The “1” variation that made the album is a slower, jazzier tune that speaks more to the overall message of using peace. John, apparently, intended this to be the original vision for the song.
Unpopular opinion here, but I like this version more than the original. While the hard-delivered vocals and instruments certainly act as a great way to deliver that protesting message, it almost feels contradictory to that idea of a peaceful protest. Revolution 1 is so much stronger in this regard. Even aside from the message, it’s just a great soothing song. The instrumentation is light and John’s high-pitched voice adds a lot to that background. Even the odd bit of deep exhaling creates this feeling of tiredness that feels strangely vital to elevating the song. Putting this higher than “Warm Gun” might be a point of contention for most, but I just find this song too good not to place it any lower.
3. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Taken inspiration from Eastern Asia for once, George wrote this song as a call for the unrealized love that is buried in the world. Heavily inspired by the Chinese texts of I Ching, the song allowed George to finally let out that untapped music potential he’d been holding back on. Obviously, the themes of tapping into that love we all have is something that ran throughout the band as a whole, but it’s George that was always able to describe the exact feelings that makes love so endearing. The lyrics are beautifully describing this yearn and the addition of the unaccredited Eric Clapton on backing guitar makes one of the greatest songs that the band as ever produced, let alone George. With it being a Harrison-Clapton collaboration, this feels more akin to something you hear on George’s All Things Must Pass album.
These top three songs were next to impossible to narrow down for which would gain that top spot. I knew which three were up there from the start, but I couldn’t picture which one would get the crown. “Gently Weeps” was very close to getting it. As mentioned before, I have nothing but love for Harrison’s distinct identity, but it just couldn’t outdo the other two songs. It’s still a phenomenal piece that highlights George’s genius, with spectacular lyrics, brilliant harmonies and a soaring guitar riff in the middle. George’s soft-spoken voice adds to the idea of finding that untapped love of life. There is never a single moment where it falters. It’s about as perfect a Harrison song can get, but Paul and John have narrowly beat him out.
2. Blackbird
You can easily look at this song as a companion piece to Yesterday. Does it compare to that? Not entirely, by the bone structure is still there. Paul has shifted about in what his intentions were with this song, but something that definitively inspired its inception was hearing the calls of literal blackbirds while meditating in India. Conversely, he has stated the song was heavily inspired by the Civil Rights acts that were going on at the time. The “Blackbird” in the title is quite literally about a black woman. It speaks of the bird flying free, learning to find its own way with the problems that weigh it down. It’s just Paul and an acoustic guitar this time around, but those are often the best Paul songs.
You may have notice that the top four songs on my list follow this pattern of slowing down as we get higher. Blackbird is probably the most calming song in the entire album, and it’s one that everyone has heard. It may not be the most shocking revelation to put it this high on the list, but it’s hard to deny why exactly it makes it there. It’s so perfect in execution. It’s simplistic in all the right ways. There isn’t a lot more I can say about the song, it’s just one that I adore to no end. If I’m feeling down on stressed out, it’s my go-to song to mellow myself out. I was pretty sure when writing this list that Blackbird was going to be my number one. It sat there with the number poised for the entirety of this article, but as I searched my head for why I loved the next so much, I had to bump it right up. Even I’m shocked.
1. Julia
John displays his inner turmoil once again with this somber tribute to his beloved mother. Those who know the history of John’s relationship with his mother are familiar with just how complicated the entire thing was. When she died during his teenage years, it left John in a complicated state of understanding his emotions. In this Lennon-solo song that feels similar to Paul’s “Yesterday,” Lennon writes of the experiences he never had with his late mother, creating images of an ideal life he wanted to experience. Such a simple-sounding song is laden with deep meaning and “what if” scenarios.
Julia is not a song that I see many Beatles fans talk about. It’s certainly not disliked, but it often goes unnoticed, pushed to the second disc of the album with a lot of the more disliked entries. At first, I mostly just forgot about, brushing it off as a slow and uninteresting song. The more I’ve listened to this one, the more I find myself falling in love with it. The way John balances heartfelt honesty with complete fantasy is endearing. Knowing that he was estranged from his mother for years for his life, then having her come into it again when he was a teenager, only for her to die in a car crash adds so much more to that desperate struggle to understand his emotions towards her. As someone who has dealt with a very similar estrangement, I can understand that difficulty to make sense of everything, and how you can forgive that person despite everything. Even aside from this connection, the song is simply masterful. I started and ended this list with a John song. What a twist.
More recently, I have managed to finish a marathon involving all the works of the legendary animation company, Studio Ghibli. I have always considered the art of animation to be one of infinite potential, but I always neglected the studio over the years. Back in April of last year, I decided to set out and watch all of them, but lost interest after six movies. This wasn’t because of the movies themselves but, rather, because I had so many more films open to me due to the dreaded lock-down. I really wanted to get through all these films, so I could officially give myself the title of “Ghibli fanatic” and the experience has been truly wonderful. Watching as the medium of animation has all but completely snuffed out traditional 2-D styles has me yearning for its return. Ghibli, until more recently, has kept it alive and, in doing so, has told numerous inspiring stories from literal art. Most who read my reviews don’t quite have that love for animation like I do, so hopefully I can spread a little awareness of what I consider to be the most accessible Japanese animated films out there. From the creative mind of Hiyao Miyazaki to the personable soul of Isao Takahata, I’m ranking all of the studios films (with the exception of the most recent “Earwig and the Witch” as it hasn’t been released in the UK yet) from worst to best. Perhaps I can shed some light on which films are the best for your morbid curiosity. Without anymore delay, here are all 22 films ranked.
22. Tales From Earthsea (2006)
Starting off on a genuinely bleak and forgettable note is, what I consider to be, the one film in Ghibli’s line-up that feels completely devoid of any real substance. Regardless of the quality of Ghibli’s works, you can at least depend on the idea that the directors had some sort of good intention. In this directorial debut for Hayao Miyazaki’s son, Goro Miyazaki, “Tales from Earthsea” feels as though there was more attention placed on the environments and character designs over the more crucial narrative and structure. “Bland” is the perfect word to summarize the entire experience. None of the characters feel remotely interesting and the story is so incredibly slow and confusing that it makes for a slog to get through. While the art-style is beautiful, creating a lush land of fantasy-like awe, and the character animations have that Ghibli quality, it does not forgive the complete lack of identity or substance. I know I am not alone with my placement, so it’s easy to just brush this off as a poor film. Goro, however, has proven to be competent, as you’ll see later in the list.
21. Ocean Waves (1993)
I’m not entirely sure if I should count this one, due to the fact that it produced for TV, but it’s considered part of the line-up, according to Wikipedia. I was quite surprised to see just how many romance-focused films came from the prolific studio. This did cause some apprehension, due to my lack of interest in the genre. The only one I found to match up with those pre-conceived notions was the entirely underwhelming, “Ocean Waves.” While the attempts at creating a nostalgic view of Japanese high school life and young love are admirable, I don’t feel as though these elements are strong enough to support the film. There felt like a severe lack of chemistry between the two leads, and the main character wasn’t particularly interesting. I did enjoy Rikako’s character and her sporadic personality, however. The art-style and tone was much more grounded, and that’s something I really liked, but it doesn’t save the soap-opera level drama that comes across as a little half-baked, especially when it feels as though the set-up is rushed. It’s not a movie that is particularly memorable, but it does have some few merits that put it above “Earthsea.” Also, you cannot convince me that the relationship between Taku and Yutaka was simply a “friendship.” Thought we were going in a completely different direction at first. Would’ve been a whole lot more fascinating.
20. Ponyo (2008)
Here’s an unpopular placement. I have nothing but the greatest of respects for Miyazaki and all the work he has produced. That being said, not everything he has done has felt as artistically fluid as his reputation has garnered. I can certainly understand why so many people adore the more child-friendly “Ponyo”, but I just can’t quite find myself getting lost in this world the same way I have with his other films. This movie certainly has a ton of soul and great intentions. I love the brighter and more colorful pallet and the animation can be downright gorgeous. Each and every frame is wonderfully created, this is especially noticeable in the final act; it’s beautiful and continuously memorable. My issues come from the over-usage of “cuteness” and the paper-thin side characters that feel like more of a detriment to the greater plot. While Miyazaki’s intentions are good, I found myself annoyed by the overly childish tone. This may seem like a pointless complaint, “it’s an animated film for families, of course it’s childish”, but Miyazaki has always treated these films as an art form that speaks to its audience, rather than talking down. It’s not awful, I just couldn’t find myself invested.
19. Pom Poko (1994)
This may be another unpopular opinion, but I just couldn’t enjoy the sheer ridiculousness of Isao Takahata’s “Pom Poko.” Much like my opinions on “Ponyo”, this is the only film within Takahata’s tenure that I don’t particularly like. This may come from the obligatory cultural differences that come with the far more foreign tanuki lore, but it felt as though there was too much padding that plagued the entire movie. I did enjoy watching these colorful tanukis displaying their mystical powers, and there’s an innate absurdist tone to the murderous intent they harbor. I enjoyed the larger moments of the tanukis messing with the humans, especially from the bizarre parade scene, but it all comes at the cost of a rather basic story. It was easy to lose focus of the greater goal, and I feel this could have been fleshed out much further. There weren’t any particular characters I gravitated towards either, they all became rather indistinguishable. The more obvious message towards preserving the environment also feels undermined by the ridiculousness of the scenarios. I understand this is more for entertainment than about trying to create “art” but when you’re trying to tell an important message, it feels disingenuous. I still enjoy the sillier aspects, but I just couldn’t find myself loving it.
18. When Marine was There (2014)
The last film this studio made before their indefinite break, until the more recent film, “When Marnie was There” is something that is so close to being ambitious and progressive, but is horribly held back by its refusal to be daring. The film was clearly leaning on telling a story about a young girl finding love in another, like-minded girl, but it insists that they are simply friends. This gave me similar vibes to “Ocean Waves”, but felt like a far more natural direction. Whenever the two leads share the screen, there is genuine chemistry. I like that Anna is not a typical protagonist, and exhibits actual realistic anxiety and the central conflict is only powered by this portrayal. I also really liked the ambiguity of what is real and what is a dream. The film, however, takes a major hit when we learn of who exactly Marnie is. Besides it being far too convenient to the main character, the reveal adds a layer of creepiness that the film seems to want to justify. This would not be as uncomfortable if I felt this really was a story about two friends, but the implications are far more obvious, with the reveal making it truly questionable. Had it not been for this truth bombshell, I most definitely would have placed this higher. I fully support LGBT+ relationships, but I am NOT in support of THAT.
17. Whisper of the Heart (1995)
Another romance film that may be influencing my rankings. I understand that most people would rank this very high, but there is much more to my lower spot choice than a simple genre. The way this film incorporates “Country Roads” was definitely a bizarre choice, and even more bizarre is the way that the main character is trying to make her own version of it. Regardless, it is integrated well and served to frame the character’s conflict. At it’s heart, it’s more of a coming-of-age tale. Finding your place in the world trying to chase these seemingly impossible dreams is something that most will relate to, and will definitely speak to the age group of the main characters. I may not be in said age group, but the creative aspirations hit me on a personal level. Top these elements off with some mesmerizing animation and operatic score, and you have something truly special. It is, however, held back by a basic romance plot and a lack of consistency when handling its dream sequences. I enjoyed these small vignettes of fantasy, but there are very few of them. It would’ve added to the greater message of chasing your dreams. This film isn’t bad and, I’m happy to say, it’s mainly positivity from this point on, it just frustrates me that it had so much more potential to be greater than it is.
16. The Cat Returns (2002)
Yes. I prefer the fun, dumb little side-story to the much deeper origin. As great as many of the things in “Whisper of the Heart” are, I still had a lot of issues that held it back. It’s spin-off tale, “The Cat Returns” may not have those finer, more nuanced elements, but what it does right is downright charming. It isn’t anything spectacular, but it does have fun with itself. I find all the characters incredibly charming, and this it’s complimented by it’s simplistic art-style. The Baron, who is a minor dream-character in the earlier film, is given more of a personality that serves to accompany the likable protagonist. It revels in a strange fantasy, and that’s all it needs to do. The only major flaw I have comes from it’s lack of anything noticeably brilliant, but then there’s nothing particularly awful. When a movie is able to convince you that the love between a human girl and a cat-man feels genuine, you know it’s doing something strangely right. This one is real weird.
15. My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999)
The biggest surprise to come from my Ghibli marathon, in more ways than one, was Takahata’s “My Neighbors the Yamadas.” It’s rarely ever talked about amongst fans and possesses a distinct art-style and structure. Rather than a singular, clear narrative, it instead compiles a series of vignettes that paint a greater picture of a family life. It uses Japanese archetypes in a way that can speak to all walks of life, nailing down the familiarity that any conventional family can relate to. It isn’t particularly deep with what it wants to say, but it’s greatly entertaining. All five members of the family are incredibly likable and provide distinct personalities that one can’t help but find something to love about each one. It is so soaked in suburban Japanese culture and has a soundtrack that feels far too grandiose for such a simple film. I can’t say it ever excels above being pleasantly charming, but it’s a welcome surprise that needs to be watched, if only for the enriching experience.
14. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
This one was hard to place. Some may not even look at this as a Ghibli film, considering it was made before the studio was founded, but it’s officially considered the first. “Nausicaa” may be one of Miyazaki’s earliest works, but it is writhing in his trademark style. Its strong female protagonist, its enriching and fleshed out world, the beautiful animation and expressiveness, and the subtle social commentary is all there. The way war plays into the valiant efforts to spread environmental awareness is rooted in it’s fantasy setting. There isn’t quite that comfortable feeling that I get with the two previous films, which is why I do feel there are some negatives to address. The pacing can feel very slow, and the story is never terribly spectacular, but it is brimming with so much personality and style that it can forgive many of these issues. I do feel that there is a level of caution from Miyazaki with this one, and would, perhaps, benefit from a slight fleshing out of the story. As it stands, it’s worth a watch, it just doesn’t quite reach the same level of the legendary director’s other works.
13. Arietty (2010)
A film based on a book that was very close to my childhood. “Arietty” certainly takes more than its fair share of liberties when adapting “The Borrowers”, but it keeps much of the charm and whimsical world-building that it is prevalent in the iconic story. So much of this film is elevated by its atmospheric tone, creating wonder and amazement by viewing the world from the lens of a miniature person. Ghibli’s tendency of spreading an environmental message is more understated here, but feels so much more natural within the confines of the world. The animation may not excel above Ghibli’s other works, but so much of the art-style is heightened by the scale of the environments and the expressiveness of the characters. This isn’t really a film I herald for its story, more so the environment, but it has an identity that makes it stand out amongst the other films in the studio’s library. The romance between the two lead characters didn’t feel incredibly strong, but there was a level of charm. My main issue comes from how ‘safe’ it feels; it never really does anything to spectacular. That being said, I can easily see myself re-watching this, if only for the wonderful animation. (Tom Holland is terrible in the English dub, probably best to watch the original dub for this one.)
12. Porco Rosso (1992)
There always seems to be two different types of Ghibli movies: the ones that try to inspire, creating a world like one never seen before, and then the ones that simply wrap themselves in the strange and over-the-top. “Porco Rosso” is this weird amalgamation of the two. The addition of turning the protagonist into some sort of pig-man feels unnecessary, but fits perfectly into the atmosphere that the world creates. Miyazaki’s love of aviation soars into untapped artistry as we are left with a truly fun and entertaining film that never takes itself too seriously. The titular pig is given a more stand-offish personality, but is wonderfully complimented by the more eccentric side characters. It’s a film that serves to deconstruct the pratfalls of heated masculinity, carefully veiled by an abstract lead character. The story is played like a classic action-adventure movie of the golden era and blends together a tone that both children and adults will find themselves latched to. The animation is eye-catching and mesmerizing. It’s part of the course for Miyazaki’s films to stand out in that regard, but here, the environments really pop. The aesthetic has a warm, comfy feel. It’s a weird film to recommend to newcomers. I didn’t go in with the highest expectations for this, but I was pulled right out of those pre-conceived notions as soon as the world opened up. Miyazaki proves that he can constantly find new and inspiring ways to tell a story.
11. Castle in the Sky (1986)
Over the years, my taste in movies has evolved. I find myself more drawn in by films grounded in reality, but with a level of fantasy hiding itself within the structure of the film. There is one thing that has remained a striking appeal to me; fantasy. This film wondrously blends an amazing steampunk aesthetic with whimsical landscapes. Not a moment went by where I wasn’t awing over the beautiful backgrounds and unique air crafts. The story provides an ecstatic accompaniment to this setting. The two lead characters feel like real children thrown into an unwitting adventure. The film switches the typical villain archetypes on their head, giving us a rather composed and stoic antagonist. On a personal level, I found myself relating this to the “Final Fantasy” franchise of games, feeling as if this infamous series may have taken some inspiration. ‘Inspired’ is the perfect word to summarize this film. So many other forms of media seem to have taken some inspiration from the iconic movie. As tired as these ideas may feel, this is of no fault to the expertly crafted world it creates. It’s a movie that never feels like it steps into ‘phenomenal’ territory, but it does manage to capture that love of fantasy I keep close to my heart. It invokes a nostalgic feeling, despite this being a recent watch.
10. The Wind Rises (2013)
Whenever Miyazaki decides to put his retirement on hold, he somehow manages to show the same vigor that made him such a household name in his younger years. “The Wind Rises” is more than a return to form. Displaying that love of aviation again, this film feels so incredibly personal to Miyazaki that you can almost replace the main character with him. It captures the drive that those with a creative passion have in a bubble, birthing something distinct and gorgeous. As this film chronicles the life of a young child into adulthood, we see the physical manifestations of his dreams take shape. It finds room to balance romantic love with work-enforced passion that the two melt into each seamlessly. You care about the main character, despite the neglect he may show towards his wife, and you care even more about the doting health of said wife. This film also works to show us the beauty of the world around us, closely held by stunning animation and music. I am a sucker for the ‘dreamer’ movie, it hits very close to home, but there is something so intrinsic to this movie that anyone can find something to love about it. It may be at the bottom of my top ten, but I have very little negative to say about this. It’s all close to perfection from here on out.
9. Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)
I may have given the impression that I tend to value the more mature and introspective Ghibli films over the child-like wonders but, if anything, its the latter which I can appreciate more. “Kiki’s Delivery Service” is easily one of the best examples of how well Miyazaki is able to capture that childish amazement. It’s a simple story; a young witch out of training starts a delivery service. It’s nice and wholesome with an adventurous wit about it. Kiki is such a fun and entertaining character and is only strengthened by the equally wholesome side characters. Jiji provides a comical contrast to everyone else with his sarcastic persona. Kiki also provides what, I believe, to be the greatest strength of the film; she’s an audience avatar. The way she reacts to the world is like a lens for the viewer. Each moment she lifts off the ground, we are taken away with her. This is another film where the backgrounds are one of the main appeals. I loved the structures of the European-inspired locales and the beautiful scenery. It’s almost redundant to bring up the animation at this point, but “Kiki” does this with much more subtlety that I feel it’s important to address this. I also think this a perfect entry point if your looking to get into these movies, especially if your gearing kids towards it. It may not take as many risks, but it’s such a comfortable and memorable film that I can’t help but gush over it.
8. From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)
I…did not expect this film to reach as high on the list as it did, but here we are. It had everything working against it: it’s a direct romance film, it was directed by Goro Miyazaki and was leading towards a twist similar to “Marnie” that almost had me reviling it, but this film shines bright. This film invokes that nostalgic feeling of high-school life that “Ocean Waves” was going for, but this one feels so much more fluid and crafted. The central conflict looks down on ripping away heritage, but also embraces the new world with a centrist approach. But the real focus is placed on the complicated romance between the two leads. There’s a natural progression from one-sided adoration to mutual love, and is thrown into a darker turn that will have you questioning whether you willing to forgive something so taboo. The movie dares to embrace something so bold of an idea with a careful and steady approach. This film is certainly more contained than many other Ghibli films, and what it does within that small area, it does so ridiculously well. I can see many Ghibli fans being baffled at my choice to place this movie so high, but I honestly do believe it’s something special. Turns out Goro can do some good.
7. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)
It’s hard for me to put into words just how much this movie works for me. “Howl’s Moving Castle” is another example of just how innovative Miyazaki could be when it comes to such abstract ideas. Covered in a thick secretion of vivid fantasy, it has a message of mortality and how you should harness every little moment of your life. The fantasy setting constantly shifts with our vehicle for this adventure coming from the titular moving castle and its mysterious magician. The way time is utilized and character archetypes are flipped around give this film a distinction apart from not only the other films on this list, but many others like it as well. I absolutely adore the visuals and music, with the castle standing out. You can really appreciate all the detail that covers that behemoth. This film can often feel a little convoluted and does push the more adult themes a bit too much, so it’s hard for me to recommend this as an entry point, but it’s one that must be seen as soon as possible. I really, really struggle to tell exactly what makes this film work for me, but I’ve settled on the idea that I just need to let the movie whisk me away on this memorable adventure, no questions asked.
6. Only Yesterday (1991)
Another shocking placement, I was thoroughly dumbfounded by how much this film stuck with me. As prolific as Miyazaki may remain, Takahata has given me the impression that he himself is the most varied in style and substance. “Only Yesterday” is the perfect capsule of how we often compartmentalize our childhoods and allow it to define us. The constant back-and-forth with Taeko’s life as an adult compared to her childhood is given a noticeable divide with how saturated the colors of her younger life are when placed next to the more organic look of her older one. The way backgrounds are faded out to represent memories is captivating. Adding an extra layer is the more oddball personality of the protagonist. She isn’t shown to be a typical child and is given some distinct quirks and, in this, we get a character that can feel tangible to anyone who has suffered from childhood segregation. Even with the inconsistent pacing of the flashbacks to the rest of the film, everything feels so natural and I never found myself losing interest. My placement here may come from a personal connection to the ordeals the character goes through. That struggle to fit in with others, the struggle to live up to an invisible high standard and the isolated nature was feverishly palpable. It may have the most forced environmental message of all these films, but it’s still phenomenal. (That Puma product placement was hilariously forced. I laughed for a good five minutes.)
5. Princess Mononoke (1997)
I’ve previously done a much larger review of this one, so I won’t go too much into this. “Princess Mononoke” is easily Ghibli’s most violent and straightforward movies. It’s strong environmental message is presented through a filtered look at a fantastical world of gods and warriors. The titular princess is that force that unites the two and is so fascinating to watch. The real protagonist of this film acts as an audience avatar and if you can’t find yourself reaching the same conclusion that he does, then perhaps the meaning will be lost on you. Aside from the enthralling story, the animation is some of the best the studio has ever had and the designs of the animal gods is unlike any I’ve ever seen. If you want to here me talk more about this spectacular film, check this review out: https://conorjohnson1.wordpress.com/2021/04/12/film-lookback-princess-mononoke-1997/
4. My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
In a similar vein, I’ve already done a much longer review of this. Even after all this time, my opinion has mostly remained the same. The most well known Ghibli movie, “Totoro” is a special film with a large heart. While it plays itself rather safe, there is a lot of care for the more sensitive nature of life. Teaching children how to deal with their parents, or any loved one for that matter, suffering from a threatening illness is an immense task to take on, but Miyazaki really handles this with finesse. The lead characters are charmingly adorable and the large, titular Totoro has so many more layers to simply being a cute mascot character. To find happiness in darker times will never fail to reach me, personally. It’s wonderful and practically flawless. Check out my full review if you like: https://conorjohnson1.wordpress.com/2020/11/09/film-lookback-my-neighbor-totoro-1988/
3. The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013)
If Miyazaki can prove his artistic intent is still very much alive with “The Wind Rises”, Takahata proves that he has nothing short of perfection left in his parting works. “Princess Kaguya” was like an experience I have rarely ever felt. Drawing from a deep Japanese mythology, this film tells a tale of how wealth and notoriety can never replace one’s less prosperous roots. The titular princess provides a nice subversion of the typical royal characters, being a constant force of energy. The way that the story values the idea of living a naturalistic life of happiness rather than a miserable, yet wealthy one makes everything feel more relatable. It’s a fairy tale story that doesn’t beg to be analyzed, simply to enthrall you in an experience. The fantasy-woven world is beautifully orchestrated by it’s unique brushstroke art-style and immersive soundtrack. For every moment this film may slow down, there is always something to keep you fascinated. There is so much wonder and amazement that is poured into the seams of this film and rarely, if ever, did I feel a sense of dragging. This is a movie that reminds me of why I love animation so much. Every single shot is artistically driven and would only be held back if it was done in the typical CGI techniques. The ending of the film had me on the verge of tears, and that only speaks for the excellent writing and character building. I cannot recommend this enough. It is simply a masterpiece in animation and story-telling. (When showing this to your kids, watch out for some “U” rated nudity. There are bare breasts. :O)
2. Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
From Takahta’s last film to his first, “Grave of the Fireflies” is pure artistry, but not in a literal sense. This is easily the most hard-hitting of all the Ghibli movies. Much of the subject matter is not typical of the Ghibli format. It is so intoxicated in raw emotion that it can move even the most jaded personality. As insistent as Takahata is that this isn’t an anti-war film, it feels very much as if they are lambasting the lasting effects that World War II had on the villages and towns around Japan. Looking at the war from the perspective of two children, one old enough to understand the weight of everything and one who is far too young to comprehend the sadness of this time, there’s a rarely tapped narrative that anti-war films often ignore. Despite the constant dour tone that blankets the film, there are genuine moments of childish joy that adds so much innocence to the story. Deep down, you want these characters to find even the smallest bit of happiness and, whenever those moments come, it feels all the more relieving. With stunning visuals and a haunting soundtrack, this movie feels complete in every sense of the word. It’s not the most innovative or creatively-driven Ghibli movie, but it’s easily the most well-written. This film had me in tears towards the very end, and it refuses to leave my mind. Simply phenomenal.
Spirited Away (2001)
Not remotely surprising to anyone who admires the works of Ghibli and Miyazaki, “Spirited Away” is without a doubt the greatest film either has made. Everyone manages to garner a different interpretation from this legendary film, as it’s one that begs to be analyzed. It’s a refreshing film that can be seen in a variety of different ways. The world it creates is a fascinating ghostly one where legend and mythology thrive. It’s main character, Sen reacts to the strange environment as much as any real kid would; full of unknowing fear and amazement. Most of the film is just a roller-coaster of strange and bizarre events, but you stop questioning everything once you’re integrated into the world. The unnerving ghostly character that follows Sen around can be looked at in various ways, but I look at it as the personification of consumerism and that lust for processed consumption. There’s clearly a message of enjoying the natural foods of the world, something that has always been a simple accompaniment in previous Ghibli films. The film literally opens on Sen’s parents turning into gnawing pigs. As has been the case for almost all the films I’ve talked about, the animation is positively superb and lustrous. Every single frame of animation is eye-catching and the character designs are distinct and purposeful. I can’t really say anything that almost everyone hasn’t already said at this point. This was the film that introduced me to the worlds of Ghibli and even after all the films that followed after it in this personal marathon of mine, it still remains my favorite. I even consider it to be one of my favorite films of all time.
Side note: Will probably do a review of “Earwig and the Witch” when it gets a cinematic release. Will be a nice way to cap off this Ghibli smorgasbord.
TV has never been my strongest area when it comes to “in-depth analysis”. I find the medium of film much more engaging, believing that a story that can be told within a two-hour window to be much more impressive than dragging a story throughout an entire season. One show, however, that kept nagging at my mind was ‘Bojack Horseman.’ The show had built up it’s reputation for it’s honest and nuanced analysis of depression. Many stories that focus on psychological issues often deliver the message through a filtered observation, rather than relating to it’s audience. Depression is something that we all go through at least once in our lives. It shouldn’t be too difficult to deliver that aforementioned message. Bojack Horseman, on it’s surface level, looks like another adult-animated sitcom, with anthropomorphic animals living with humans to make it stand out. I was not prepared for just how gut-wrenching the show’s topics could become. Each season tackles a different layer of the titular character’s psyche. This is the shocking honesty of Bojack Horseman.
We are introduced to our titular character, Bojack is a middle-aged actor, who is living off the legacy of a popular nineties sitcom, Horsin’ Around, in which he was the star. Despite the show’s popularity, Bojack has become washed up and indulges in heavy drinking, drug abuse, and a constant string of destructive behavior that effects him and the people in his life. In a world where animals live like humans with humans, Bojack lives with his human ‘friend’, Todd, a dim-witted, but lovable, loafer who puts up with Bojack’s constant destructive attitudes. Bojack also has a former lover and talent agent in the form of Princess Caroline, a cat with a workaholic attitude, the first of a string of relationships that Bojack completely ruins. A ‘friend’ of Bojack comes in the form of Mister Peanutbutter, a dog from another sitcom that clearly ripped off Horsin’ Around. Mister Peanutbutter is like a brighter, happier contrast to Bojack, having the same success but is more loved for his friendly attitude. Peanutbutter has a girlfriend in the form of Diane, a human reporter that has agreed to write a book on Bojack’s life in an effort to retain his relevance. The two would develop a friendship over the years, being almost as destructive as each other.
Season 1: The first season is so different from the rest of the show. It’s clear that they were simply testing the waters with this introduction, feeling more in line with other comedies with cutaway jokes and throwaway gags. With that said, the show delves right into the issue of depression. It’s clear from the start that Bojack is holding onto his glory days, indulging in vices that hide away his internal pain. Bojack only wants to tell his story, through a ghost writer, just so he can regain relevancy. Throughout the season he treats the people in his life with a lack of compassion; Todd is the only person that could be considered his friend throughout the entirety of the show, and Bojack refuses to acknowledge this. He is bitter towards Mister Peanutbutter because he doesn’t have the same respect from the public. Bojack’s lack of compassion is the main theme, showing that choosing to live in your own self-pity can warp your personality, slowly alienating yourself from those who care about you. One episode in particular gives us a display of Bojack’s more outrageous behavior, reuniting with a former child co-star from his sitcom, Sarah-Lynn, who has fallen into the same traps that most child stars fall into, drug abuse. Bojack, at first, tries to treat her like a daughter but they soon begin a sexual relationship and he fuels her addictions. Sarah-Lynn would become a recurring character throughout and her story doesn’t get the hopeful ending one might want for her.
Season 2: The second season starts with Bojack finally getting what he wants; relevancy. The book that Diane wrote has become very successful and Bojack now has the chance to make a film that he has always dreamed of making, Secretariat, a biopic of the famous racehorse that Bojack idolized. Throughout the season, Bojack is trying to improve his attitude, applying a more positive outlook, but it’s clear that he can’t keep this attitude together. The show was put into a position where they had to develop Bojack’s conflict past what felt like a finite ending with the previous season. This season teaches you that self improvement is a long road to take, you can’t expect everything to improve simply because you acknowledge the problem. Bojack still makes immoral choices such as trying to make out with Diane despite her commitment to her boyfriend, and in the second to last episode, the show goes to a very dark area. Without spoiling too much, we get one of the most questionable moral choices that Bojack makes, any sympathy you may have felt towards Bojack is pushed into question. This destructive behavior is chastised, never defended.
Season 3: This season chooses to focus on Bojack’s morality. Bojack becomes more of a side character during this season, the focus being placed on the side character’s conflicts. These side stories were in the previous seasons but they always took the ‘B-plot’ of each episode. This season explores Todd’s character more, revealing him to be asexual and his conflict with a girl that has always loved him, Diane and Mister Peanutbutter’s relationship beginning to show it’s cracks, and exploring Princess Caroline’s love life. Each arc carefully acknowledges that all of these characters have their own mental issues. Diane is almost a female Bojack, wallowing in depression and a fear of commitment. Mr. Peanutbutter is oblivious to the hardships of others, despite his friendly personality, even ignoring Diane’s own problems. Caroline’s workaholic attitude ruining her chance of a committed relationship. The focus on Bojack does come back in full force in the finale, however, as Sarah-Lynn returns to his life. The two go on a massive drug-fueled binge, brought on by Bojack’s guilt over Secretariat using CGI to replace Bojack and his agreeing to it. The pair’s destructive behavior eventually leads to grizzly end, it’s last moments are harrowing. It’s message that is drilled throughout the show, the only one to blame for your behavior is you yourself.
Season 4: This season is heavily focused on exploring the roots of the depression that Bojack’s parents have instilled on Bojack, and his own parenting skills attempting to avoid repeating those mistakes. Bojack’s life takes a turn for the better with this season as he is introduced to his illegitimate daughter, Hollyhock. Though Bojack isn’t the parenting type, he spends much of his time trying, relentlessly, to give her the experiences he never had himself. Hollyhock has spent her life raised by a collection of adoptive fathers and is already a late teenager, so the idea of Bojack trying to take control is uneeded. They do bond, however, as Hollyhock accepts Bojack for who he is, she doesn’t have that previous knowledge of who he was beforehand, so she doesn’t turn away from him when he reaches his low points. This season also taps into the origins of Bojack’s mother and her dark past that turned her into the bitter woman we had seen in previous seasons. The main theme is, clearly, how one’s parents can often cause much of the grievances of one’s life. Depression is transferable, but that doesn’t excuse terrible behavior. Bojack tries his best to be the father his dad never was and his disliking of his mother reaches a more complex conclusion, he still cares about her, and that’s often the case in most abusive relationships, it’s not as simple to dismiss the person that raised you, regardless of their parenting styles.
Season 5: This season focuses on Bojack’s addictions and regrets in a much darker perspective compared to previous seasons. Bojack has experienced success, and is now the leading man in a gritty crime drama named Philbert that bears an uncanny resemblance to his own life. Bojack is also in a relationship with a woman, Gina, who is his co-star on Philbert. Bojack’s grasp on reality becomes more and more skewed as he finds himself bouncing back and forth between the show and his own life. This tears Bojack’s perception apart and he spirals further into a life of drugs and alcohol. Bojack’s past also brings itself to the forefront when his behavior in Mexico attracts the attention of Diane, who is working as a writer on Philbert. Each episode is another step towards Bojack falling off the deep end. This season is much less subtle with it’s message compared to previous seasons, making it abundantly clear that drugs and alcohol are only going to enhance the nagging depression. The show gets particularly dark towards the end as Bojack is close to killing someone he cares about. It becomes a wake up call for him and he finally reaches that tipping point as he’s checked into rehab.
Season 6: The final season focuses on Bojack’s road to soberness. Bojack is checked into rehab and is, initially, reluctant to improve improve himself, but after finding out thay Sarah-Lynn had attended the same centre, he dedicates himself to getting better. Most of the season has Bojack staying on this path, he even manages to land a job teaching acting at the same university that Hollyhock attends. Bojack is much more self aware and his relationships with his friends is improving. This cannot last, however, as Bojack’s past comes back to bite him in the arse. Bojack’s past in Mexico brings about a string of media controversies and he loses contact with Hollyhock. Bojack’s efforts to avoid returning to his demons becomes weaker and weaker. The season tackles the self-improvement of recovering addicts and doesn’t shy away from the longer turmoils of becoming better. Moving on and becoming a better person is not instantaneous and no matter how much you change, the actions of your past will remain with you till the end. The idea of forgive but don’t forget is pushed to the forefront here and demonstrates the hardships of a self-destructive person. You want to see Bojack improve, despite his terrible behavior, and that’s what makes the show so endearing; the message of hopefulness for those who have lead a life of depression.
I’ve never written anything about a video game, outside of my brief analysis of the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Video games and movies are often viewed as vastly unique mediums and aren’t easily comparable, but some games do inject a high dosage of in-depth story telling, coupled with movie quality cut scenes. One game that has often crossed my mind when seeking out competent storytelling that is comparable to the art of film making. The Persona franchise is a Japanese-produced game series that spun off from the Shin Megami Tensei franchise. The games also took heavy influence from the popular anime series, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. And, as it’s a role-playing game, the fleshed-out story is only a natural pairing with the game’s mechanics. The latest entry in the series re-invented the mechanics and structure of the previous games and focused on a new set of protagonists, as is the case of all entries, and has gained the franchise a new, larger fanbase. I was a late comer to the franchise myself, with this being the first game in the series I had played. It’s far more unique from any other game I have played and, while this is very different from my usual reviews, I implore you to read on. This is Persona 5.
The game immediately places us in the action as we see a mysterious young thief who is seen robbing a casion while also avoiding authoritative monsters known as ‘Personas’. The thief is arrested and is forced to recount the story of how he has made it to this point. The rest of the game takes place through various flashbacks and we learn the identity of our allusive protagonist. The story’s focus is placed on the unnamed protagonist, later known in spin-off material as Ren Amamiya, a young Japanese high-schooler who has been sent to live with a family friend named Sojiro Sakura, a bemused coffee shop owner who has a sore spot for our protagonist. As it turns out, our hero has gained a criminal record for being wrongfully committed of a crime for assaulting a man that attempted to rape a woman. The protagonist’s parents have sent him away to avoid the tension of their home town and he must serve out his probation while moving to a school where everyone is afraid of him. The protagonist starts off without any friends but soon comes across a fellow social reject in the form of Ryuji, a former track team member that was kicked off the team and is blamed for the team being disbanded altogether. While the two are on the way to school, they find themselves in a strange world where the school is replaced with a looming castle. Both are imprisoned by a self-centered king who strongly resembles their seedy gym teacher. After some torturous treatment and Ryuji is almost killed, our protagonist awakens to his ‘Persona’, Arsene.
After managing to disperse the villains, the two protagonists try to escape the castle before encountering a strange anthropomorphic cat named Morgana, who suffers with amnesia but is willing to teach the two boys about the strange world known as the Metaverse and how Personas work. After they all escape, they question whether it was all a dream, but after Morgana appears in the real world, as a real, talking cat, they become obsessed with discovering the secrets of the Metaverse. As it turns out, the reason the king resembles their gym teacher is because, within the Metaverse, those who have become terrible people create a subconscious ‘palace’ formed from their self-centered desires. The three also team up with Ann, a fellow high-schooler who has suffered abuse from the gym teacher and her friend, Shiho is pushed to an attempted suicide after similar abuse. All members awaken to their Personas and form a group known as the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, a group on teenagers, thieves who steal the metaphorical hearts of terrible people, which changes their personalities in the real world. Many members enter the group including; Yusuke, a budding artist from another school with a strange personality, Makoto, a preppy head-girl who suffers with feelings of inadequacy, Futaba, an anxious shut-in that blames herself for the death of her mother, and Haru, a rich heiress to a restaurant chain that everyone avoids.
The game’s running theme is that of rebellion. Each character is perfectly representative of social outcasts that try to fight their oppressors. Our protagonist is left without a real personality so that players can project themselves onto this ‘avatar’, but this gives him a sense of mystery, he’s hated by everyone because of his criminal past but his personality contrasts this. You find yourself sympathizing with him as you know he isn’t that person. At face value, it’s a story about teenagers standing up to terrible adults but there is an underlying point made about a bunch of children getting way over their heads. Each character is acting on their instincts but they constantly question whether forcibly changing someone’s heart is morally right. Even if the adults are awful people, they are altering a person’s being, playing god. And for each moment of doubt, there is something far more terrible that happens to justify their choice. It can be a slight bit repetitive in this sense but it throws some twists here and there. The game doesn’t always encourage the rebellious behavior as the characters and there are moments where they view the story from the villain’s perspective. There is also a single thread that connects each villain’s storyline’s together. A stronger criminal is pulling the strings throughout but how far his control travels is not always unclear until you meet each player.
As the game is an RPG, it dedicates many hours of narrative building to each individual character, but not all these character arcs are mandatory. You can spend more time with the other members and delve further into their strives. There are many optional storylines that pull different characters into the fray as well. A doctor that provides the protagonist with experimental drugs that effect gameplay in favor of helping her expand her failing business while also helping her get back at her former boss for, falsely, firing her for a patient that died in her care. We meet a, clearly fake, fortune teller that has to deal with others in her field chastising her and controlling her life. There’s an alcoholic news reporter who can never get an interesting story because her boss doesn’t respect her, and many other optional subplots. It adds so much to the greater theme of the Phantom Thieves fighting against the authority figures and you get to see these characters grow from subservient workers to strong and independent forces. The game also gives you a chance to romance the female confidants, if you really wish to romance and adult woman. (You’re seventeen). It’s actually done in a very tasteful way and there is a slow progression. Not every romance feels believable but you have that power to determine your fate, or you could date every possible option and face the fury of ten women on Valentine’s Day.
I can’t move on from this without talking about the both the music and the overall aesthetic. The music goes for a lively jazz feel, mixed with a loud and intense sting that reflects the personalities of the thieves. The music blends perfectly with the theme of each location and characters have music that encapsulates their storylines. Right from the intro you get a lively beat that tells you everything you need to know about the main characters. The music is amongst the greatest video game music I have ever heard and I implore you to listen to the soundtrack. The game, much like previous installments, uses cell-shading mixed with realistic settings. It’s anime influence is very clear as the ‘cartoony’ colors are complimented by the crazy and bizarre monster designs. It’s rich in Japanese culture while not being too obvious. The constant use of red and black symbolize the rebellious attitude but also the danger that often follows. It’s perfect.
Persona 5 is close to a masterpiece in gaming, if you ask me. The story had me hooked all the way through, it can drag in certain areas and not every optional storyline is interesting, I even started to ignore certain characters after their arcs fell flat. That is, however, a minor complaint to an otherwise fantastic story. It’s easy to see yourself in at least one of these characters and has a perfectly great view on the corrupt and overall morality. This analysis was mainly about the story but I also loved the gameplay that gives you that feeling of rebellion. You are the leader of this group so you have the power to control these Personas, being the only one that can control multiple Personas. Each moment of a battle is a careful, calculated fight that has a visual flare. It’s a strong recommendation to those who have any appreciation for great video game design. I usually stick to reviewing movies so it’s hard to recommend anyone in my group of readers a video game, but, if you have the chance, perhaps watch the cutscenes, but be warned, it’s a long one. Give it a play.
The Oscars have passed and as always there is going to be some controversy over the winner of ‘best picture’. Parasite was an unexpected surprise due to it’s South Korean background and winning over larger, bigger budget American and British movies. It’s not the first time that the Oscars have chosen something more artistic and alternative to the typical fodder but stands out in this culturally appropriate world. I was late to the excitement around the film myself, this was mainly due to the lack of attention local cinemas would give to it before all the Oscar buzz. I mainly stick to movies within the UK and America so my perspective may feel irrelevant to some, that is not to say that I had a negative outlook. I was able to go in with a fresh mind without any expectations, the title alone invoked a ‘horror’ feeling but I was at least aware that the film was not that. If you can ignore the overly-sung praises of the film’s reputation for a moment, here are my views on Bong Joon Ho’s Parasite.
The story is focused on a poverty-stricken family living in the slums of South Korea. The Kim family comprises of the father, Ki-taek (Kang-ho Song), the mother, Chung-sook (Hye-jin Jang), the son, Ki-woo (Woo-sik Choi), and the daughter, Ki-jung (So-dam Park). Ki-woo is are main star as he is used as the catalyst for the family’s rise to riches. Ki-woo is approached by his cousin to take a position as a fake English teacher for a rich family’s daughter and Ki-woo accepts, he sees this as a chance to gain his family extra jobs, pretending to be unrelated workers. Ki-woo becomes romantically involved with the daughter and tricks the gullible husband and wife into hiring Ki-jung as a fake art teacher for their hyperactive son, Ki-taek as the personal driver, jeopardizing the original driver’s career, and Chung-sook as the new maid, also jeopardizing the previous worker. Things have gone well for the parasitic family as they enjoy their plan coming to fruition but things take a much darker turn when the original maid returns to collect something she left behind, something very unexpected…
The film does a great job at making all four members of the family incredibly three-dimensional and even relatable despite their sinister behavior. Ki-woo is still young and acts as a hopeless romantic that uses his English skills to become closer to the rich family’s daughter, he primarily wants his family to thrive, however, and his relationship with his father is a clear driving force, especially in the final scenes of the film. Ki-jumg is a snarky artist with enough intelligence to create forged documents and make false statements about the skill, or lack-there-of, of the artistic young boy and lacks any sympathy for the unsuspecting family their conning, contrary to the other family members. Ki-taek is sometimes seen as the voice of reason and often becomes the center of the film’s dark sense of humor, he rehearses his lies and carefully plans out his actions, but he’s also sensitive to the comments made about his stench that matches something like radishes. Chung-sook is similar to her daughter but also does fit the caring mother-like figure she has to play, she has genuine care for the previous maid and even hopes she has continued to get work. The family certainly is framed as the titular ‘parasite’ but all have very likable quirks.
The message behind this film is the standard ‘rich vs. poor’ narrative that has been done countless times but this film spins it in the opposite direction to how these films typically play out. The protagonists are pretty unlikable but you do feel a sense of sympathy for their living situation. The family has clearly lived in poverty for a long time and have lost their sense of morality, purposely willing to screw hard working people out of a job. The rich family are very likable, albeit gullible. Movies like this will almost always paint the rich in a bad light but they’re always very understanding and kind to the protagonists. They never catch on to the fact that their all related and simply believe in them from the kindness of their own hearts. The rich parents are also very passionate about raising their kids and giving them their best lives, even encouraging their strange son in acting out his fantasies. It’s not unheard of to push this narrative in the opposite direction but it’s so uncommon that it becomes a welcome change.
The film’s major hurdle is the language barrier and the style of characterization that may not resonate on western audiences, this isn’t really a fault as the film was made in Korea with Korean people in mind but it’s interesting to see how well the film translates to our demographic. Certain elements of this film can come across as slightly questionable to a western audience such as the layouts of houses and the behavior of the people may leave you questioning how much is genuine or authentic. The humor is the biggest contrast, it mostly lands but humor is always something that doesn’t always translate across the pond. The movie is a dark comedy and it’s jokes are focused on the poor rather than the wealthy, it’s very different from the western traditions. The jokes can sometimes feel uncomfortable or dialogue can feel slightly stilted due to this language barrier, the running joke about Mr. Kim smelling like radishes is very much an eastern favored style of humor and didn’t always feel real, especially at the final punchline of said joke. This isn’t a major issue but the jokes can sometimes feel poorly paced or can go on for too long, I am fully aware that this is more an issue from translation rather than poor directing.
Parasite certainly lives up to it’s reputation, it’s a great blend of dark humor mixed with shocking revelations and horrifying drama. It knows when to make the audience feel uncomfortable while also providing many bright and positive moments. The main characters are surprisingly likable and that’s mainly due to the fantastic writing and directing. It had an air similar to a film by the Coen Brothers but with a much more depressing end note that isn’t really complimented by any humor. Bong Joon Ho has had a mixture of films made within his home country and some American made, he’s still an up-and-coming director so he’s still yet to fully establish a specific style but I look forward to his future movies. I definitely felt this film deserved it’s Oscar win and it’s always encouraging to see Hollywood acknowledge the cinema that exists outside of their glittery city. Check it out.
One of my personal favorite directors is the quirky and artsy American director, Wes Anderson. His film career started in 1996 with the cult success, Bottle Rocket and has continued to flourish today. It’s easy to find at least one movie in his filmography that you can enjoy. I was personally taken in by the style that defines the director’s movies; the adults acting like children and the children acting like adults, each shot looking like a painting in motion, the use of classic rock songs that perfectly encapsulate the narrative, the fast-paced jokes that have too often been described as ‘quirky’. I wanted to review a specific film of his at some point but I struggle to find one that I can dissect and fully pick apart. His film are simple yet charismatic. So I thought I’d try something a little different and go through my top five Wes Anderson movies from least to most favorite. Hopefully I can convince you to watch at least some of these.
5.
The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
Three previously distant brothers are bought together after the death of their father. Francis (Owen Wilson), Peter (Adrian Brody), and Jack (Jason Schwartzmann) set out on trip around India to find themselves and hopefully reconnect as their father would have wanted them to remain close. They also hope to find their mother, who is living a secluded life within a village in India. The trio discover different forms of affection from the people of the country and brings the audience a different type of culture.
The Darjeeling Limited is not one of the top picks for a lot of Anderson fans but I, personally, was given a welcome surprise in how well integrated the family drama slips into the Indian culture. The emphasis is focused on the brother’s relationship and is perfectly framed through the sense of togetherness and belonging radiating from India’s bustling cities. The film is a double helix with it’s underlying message of the importance of staying together despite past drama and teaching those around the world of India’s pride. All three principal actors compliment each other well with their differing personalities but none ever outshine the others. Wilson and Schwartzmann are recurring cast members in Anderson’s movies and at full reign with the famed Brody. The film is only truly let down it’s lack of identity. The film doesn’t leave much of a mark in Anderson’s library and is easy to overlook. However, while I still greatly enjoyed the film, it feels best watched once and only revisited years later.
4.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
Framed through the memories of an old hotel manager (F. Murray Abraham) as he reminisces of his time as a bellboy named Zero (Tony Revolori) and his wild adventure with his hotel manager Gustave (Ralph Fiennes). Gustave has just inherited a famed painting from a wealthy but deceased woman who left the painting in the will to him. The woman’s family are after that painting and are chasing down the eccentric hotel owner by disposing of anyone who stands in their way. Gustave uses the aspiring bellboy in playing along with his wild escape.
Anderson is known for warping reality into something skewed. Grand Budapest is no exception and simply doubles down on this. This was the first of Anderson’s movies that I had seen and had me instantly hooked with it’s stylistic aesthetic and cinematography. The film is also filmed almost entirely in 4:3 ratio, invoking a retro look, the film even gives you warning at the beginning. This is complimented by the present timeframe being shown in the standard 16:9. The film is also brimming with recognizable actors from Bill Murray to Jeff Goldblum to Tilda Swinton. Many of these cast members simply had history with Wes Anderson but each member is used in a way to strengthen the narrative and act as a revolving door of strange personalities. The movie’s main downfall is the lack of screentime that said actors are given. The revolving door analogy is appropriate as they only truly serve as narrative progressives. I do enjoy this movie thoroughly but it lacks the personal impact that the later films on the list delivered in spades. Still, this movie is worth looking at. The best scene in the entire film is a casual skiing chase scene that is just so nonchalant in execution that it’s perfect.
3.
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Bill Murray portrays the marine biologist Steve Zissou, a man who is adamant on hunting down a shark that killed one of his crewmen. His expedition is thrown into a strange direction when a man named Ned (Owen Wilson) claims to be his son. Steve brings Ned on as an extra crewman as he sees this as a chance to build a healthy relationship in his previously self-focused life but can’t help but use his apparent son as a tool towards his goal. A pregnant reporter named Jane (Cate Blanchett) joins the expedition as well and falls in love with Ned, much to the chagrin of Steve who thinks he has a chance with the reporter.
Life Aquatic feels so different from Anderon’s other movies and yet it’s his most famous. Much of the reason this film seems to have succeeded is the bigger focus on action. Only in this particular Wes Anderson movie would you get a scene of Murray taking on a bunch of pirates with only a gun and the sheer will of protecting his team. Yet, that in itself makes the movie stand out for it’s abandoning of subtlety. It’s message at the end still rings true in typical Wes Anderson fashion, with the adults behaving like children towards the more mature situations. I neglected to mention that Steve has drama centered around his ex-wife (Angelica Huston). Steve reacts to every little situation about her with a childlike shyness and a silver tongue. The movie also looks into a complex father-son relationship, it struck a personal cord with myself but it’s probably the biggest strength of the movie. It’s the one positive relationship that Steve has and Ned’s wholesome yet dim-witted attitude acts as a catalyst to Steve’s outlook on life.
2.
Isle of Dogs (2018)
Centered around the canine world living in Japan, the country has outlawed all dogs due to a deadly disease. The dogs are all sent to ‘Trash Island’ and remain there for years to come. A pack of dogs led by Chief (Bryan Cranston) have been thrown into a new path when a young boy named Atari has landed on the island lookng for his dog Spot. The other dogs are insistent on helping Atari find his lost dog but Chief has a strong dislike towards humans for their treatment of them. He reluctantly joins them. Meanwhile a young student named Tracy (Greta Gerwig) is digging deep into the conspiracy of why the dogs were really sent to the island.
Anderson has rarely ever stepped away from the traditional filming methods for his movies. Occasionally, however, he has flexed his skills with stop-motion animation. Life Aquatic is an example of this, specifically towards the end where the sea life is bought into reality through this very method. He created an entirely animated movie with the popular ‘Fantastic Mister Fox’. Isle of Dogs is a similar creation as the latter film and is one of it’s strongest aspects. I have a personal love for animation and the realms of creativity that live film making can’t replicate. I was instantly drawn towards the movie due to the abundant lack of stop-motion movies in cinema. The film has a darker, grittier aesthetic compared to Fantastic Fox but given the subject, it works perfectly. The movie still manages to bring that Anderson brand of film making and really builds on that childhood connection to a pet that almost everyone has experienced. The plot is simultaneously childish and incredibly dark. It doesn’t shy away from more graphic content either. Atari is a very strong protagonist. Once again we have a child that acts more adult than the actual adults and yet he still takes a lot of joy in simple things like riding down a helter-skelter. The movie’s character design shines through, the character Tracy has a wild afro mixed with a freckled face, each character’s face presents an over exaggerated Japanese style that never comes close to offensive. Isle of Dogs is such an enjoyable film for it’s narrative alone and it’s easily something I can recommend.
1.
Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
Focusing on a young scout named Sam (Jared Gilman). Sam is a troubled boy who has jumped from foster home to foster home and proves problematic for the camp that has taken him on. Sam one day meets a young performer named Suzy (Kara Hayward) and the two instantly fall in love. The two run away together into the woods and every authority figure in their lives are on the trail to finding them. Sam’s camp counselor (Edward Norton) feels he is responsible for the disappearance due to his patriotism towards his role and Suzy’s parents have hired a police officer (Bruce Willis) to hunt the kids down. Unbeknownst to Suzy’s father, her mother is having an affair of sorts with that very officer.
In all my choices I have bought up the blatant switching of maturity roles with the characters. Moonrise Kingdom is the perfect picture of this anti-archetype as it’s main characters are two children. Both Sam and Suzy are the huge weight of this film and both actors are able to reach that balance of joyous childlike optimism mixed with the careful planning of an adult trying to structure their lives. Just like adults, the two kids don’t really know just how hard the world will be and that, in itself, is the thing that connects both childhood and maturity, the fear of the unknown is universal. The film also dares to show adolescence in an almost risque light. Young pre-teens trying to understand their feelings through immature advances isn’t often seen in family-friendly child focused movies but it’s handled in that perfectly Wes Anderson way. The adults in the movie reflect their own insecurities onto their methods to finding the kids. All the adults are doing this for their own personal satisfactions and only through the progressive understanding of the situation do the two kids gain more supporters. Moonrise Kingdom is a romance film that captures a moments in our youth, the unpredictability of relationships and the ignorance of an adult that tries to control that aspect while not fully understanding it themselves.
Those are just five of Wes Anderon’s movies that I feel are essential watches. They may appear simple but that perfectly encapsulates his visions that can easily speak to anyone. I have yet to find anyone who truly dislikes Anderson’s movies but he is often ignored. Hopefully you can check these ones out as well.
Side note: there’s only four movies that didn’t end up on the list. Might as well check those out as well.